184: If 90% of People Never Felt Like They "Fit In", Where Does That Leave the Other 10%?


Manage episode 296963848 series 1883885
By Sarah Elkins. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

"I'm allergic to that."

When she arrived in Spain, a shy, incredibly picky eater and study abroad student, that's what Rachel would tell people to avoid having to try new foods. It didn't take long for her to choose to be polite and try the foods, and that simple act of kindness and curiosity became the key to unlocking her adventurous spirit and become, as she says, unmuted.

Rachel's Spanish teacher had suggested that she apply to study abroad saying: "You really have an affinity for this, have you considered studying abroad?" Her immediate response was no, she wasn't interested in leaving her small liberal arts college for a semester. But the adults in her life encouraged her, saying that she would regret not going, and sharing their own regrets for turning down a similar opportunity.

She remembered arriving at the airport in Madrid, which appeared to be in total chaos, especially for a sheltered young woman.

It was her study abroad experience that awakened Rachel to her sense of adventure, which only increased with more experiences outside of her comfort zone, and isn't that always our path toward personal growth?

Rachel is the kind of woman who

A highlight of our conversation was when we talked about our human tendency to underestimate people and things that we make a snap judgment about. We began our conversation on that topic when she told the story of her experience with an eggplant dish presented to her by her host family in Spain. It's not a stretch to apply that lesson to people we meet.

Both of us had stories about our spouses related to this idea:

"If I had never opened the door to the possibility that he could be different than my first impressions of him on the surface, would I have even allowed for that possibility to happen?"

"When we're willing to stay curious and open, things we're not even aware of are possible on the other side of that."

In our conversation I mentioned my friend Shelley Brown's recently published book, Weird Girl Adventures, in the context of allowing our sense of what's weird about us to be a larger part of our best relationships.

When you've listened to the episode, I'm sure you'll want to connect with Rachel on LinkedIn, and be sure to dig into her website to learn more about what she does, and how magically she does it. And check out the song Rachel sang a line from at the end of our call, This is Me from The Greatest Showman.

If you're also curious about the lyrics I shared, here's Mary Mary with Can't Give Up Now.



"Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."

In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.

My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.

The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!

Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.

194 episodes