Manage episode 336798663 series 3305636
The last time you had a definitive question about something: an actor in that movie, or maybe something your friend did at a party last week. Did you try to figure it out on your own and think over the answer, or head to the internet to confirm your quandaries? Are we losing our ability to be naturally curious by always having concrete answers available in mere seconds?
Ian Leslie is a writer and author of acclaimed books on human behaviour. Ian’s first career was in advertising, as a creative strategist for some of the world’s biggest brands, at ad agencies in London and New York. He now writes about psychology, culture, technology and business for the New Statesman, the Economist, the Guardian and the Financial Times.
Some of his books include “Curious: The Desire to Know and Why Your Future Depends On It,” and “Conflicted: Why Arguments Are Tearing Us Apart and How They Can Bring Us Together.”
Ian and Greg debate the pros and cons of classic curiosity in this episode, delineate the different kinds of curiosity, as well as marriage & “good” disagreements.
The good effect of having conflicts
In a conflict, particularly if it's heated, you are actually learning about the other person. You are learning about what they really care about. What they really think like once the veil of politeness, which exists even in intimate relationships drops, or once the kind of veil of passivity drops, we often just avoid these things If we can. When you actually have the row, you have it out. You're seeing the inside of that person's mind and that person's heart and emotion is part of that. So if it's too kind of rational you might not see that and that ultimately brings you closer. Because as a couple, you know, you are both evolving. You think you know each other really well, but under the surface, each of you is changing and moving.
The Value of Curiosity
One valuable thing about curiosity is that it takes you away from your specialization as well as driving you deeper into it.
So diversive curiosity is this hunger for the novel, for the new, for the: Ooh! What's that? Let me see. And it gets you off the beaten path. So whatever you're doing, whatever you're thinking about, diversive curiosity will pull you off it and it's an instinct. It's something you feel almost against your will or you know, it's involuntary.
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