Don Goewey: Stop Fixing Yourself And Rewire Your Brain For Happiness


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Hey listeners, have you been working on “fixing” yourself? Well, here’s some good news: you can stop doing that right now—and today’s episode with Don Goewey will show you why.

Don currently works as the director of the Center for Spiritual Exchange, the official archive for the works of Anthony De Mello (regarded as one of the great spiritual minds of the 20th century) and has committed his life to helping people understand and quiet stress and anxiety, navigate life’s challenges more creatively, and live happier, more fulfilled lives. He also recently edited the new book, Stop Fixing Yourself / Awake Up, All is Well, based on Anthony DeMello’s practical spirituality, and wrote the Amazon bestseller, The End of Stress/Four Steps to Rewire Your Brain.

Don offers many memorable and potentially life changing insights throughout this episode, starting with him telling the riveting story of how his life fell apart in every way and what led to his spiritual awakening after. At the core of Don’s mission is his unique psycho-spiritual model for rewiring the brain to extinguish stress reactions and amplify the higher brain function that enables human beings to flourish—a method that will also help you overcome feelings of fear, anxiety, anger, depression, and that feeling of emptiness that can unfortunately characterize modern life. In fact, Don’s method has been successfully applied in high pressure work environments like Cisco and Wells Fargo to help people elevate their experience of work and of life in profound and measurable ways. We also talk about the four steps that make up Don’s method, how your perception creates your reality, and what to do when negative emotions arise.

Don Goewey is the Executive Director of the Center for Spiritual Exchange, the official archive for the works of Anthony De Mello, and the author of The End of Stress/Four Steps to Rewire Your Brain. Previously, Don managed the department of psychiatry at Stanford University Medical School and headed an institute that pioneered a psycho-spiritual approach to overcoming catastrophic life events, which in 2005 was awarded the Excellence in Medicine citation by the American Medical Association. Connect with Don here.


This show is about how to rewire your brain. [01:29]

There is a childlike part inside you that has been covered up. [03:31]

Don came to his work in pscyho-spirituality after experiencing an extreme period of stress. [07:04]

He learned to feel the stress and embrace it rather than have it take over. [09:19]

The mind body connection is very important. The quality of your life experiences depends on how well your mind functions. [16:19]

Don’s situation was desperate and it brought about a big change in his life. He discovered that the things that he thought were working against him, weren’t working against him at all. [22:25]

Your happiness in on the inside. Don’t look outside for it. [25:57]

How do you deprogram yourself? The answer is awareness. [28:52]

Look at the way you’ve been put together, all the societal programming that has made demands on you. [34:55]

We have a knee jerk reaction to the trifles in our daily life. We are constantly at the mercy of things and people. [40:42]

What you are unaware of controls you. Get in touch with your negative feelings. [42:59]

Work towards being non-judgmental. The feeling you are having is programmed into you. [51:21]

Humans have the capacity to hold horror and harm along with love and forgiveness at the same time. [56:47]

The misperception of threat generates most of the stress reactions that we experience. [01:01:16]

Be in touch with your feelings. Don’t push them away. [01:07:18]

Remind yourself that this upset will pass. 80% of us are shame based. [01:10:10]



  • "When you find yourself in a situation you can’t change, the challenge is to change yourself." (Viktor Frankl)

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