Manage episode 376115000 series 1208876
Did you know that the #1 reason couples break up is because of lack of communication? Did you know miscommunication happens very frequently in the workplace too? Would you like to be a better communicator all around? Our guest today is Communications Specialist and Expert Coach Bill Stierle, who talks deeply about the subject of “needs-based” communication. Bill has a groundbreaking way of understanding language and coaches people to communicate in healthy, compassionate, and productive ways.
Today Bill talks about thinking, learning, and communication styles based on the “Herrmann Brain Dominance Model” and the “Needs-Based Communication” technique. He helps us with our ability to develop communication and compassion. He and Lisa discuss various types of communication including parenting skills and how to effectively communicate with children and other family members.
Bill advises us to be empathic first, especially before starting to make suggestions and offer solutions. He says to “guess” what the person may be feeling, and what they may be missing. He suggests repeating what the person says for clearer understanding.
Bill also suggests using the word “torn” several times a day and asking someone, “Could you be feeling ‘torn’?” For example, that can be a source of miscommunication. Maybe you want to go out and have fun, but you know you have work to do first. This leads to a feeling of being “torn.”
They also discuss how division in this country appears to be at an all-time high. And each side believes their needs are most important. We tend to “manage” feelings rather than addressing them. Through needs-based communication, you try to find the word for the feeling that’s arising. Bill explains that feelings are only indicators. They are neither positive nor negative. They indicate what emotion is happening. He offers tips for observation to help determine what the need may be.
Basic needs include the need for Choice. You can practice by clarifying the choice. Ask someone, for example, if they would prefer to go see a movie, or would they rather stay home and order dinner? Or are they torn? Consideration, trust, truth, respect, creativity, and acknowledgement are all very common needs.
Bill Stierle has been working with individuals, couples, and families for more than 30 years. He has coached thousands of people and has taught numerous workshops locally and nationally on topics that address personal and professional effectiveness, relationships, and parenting. The material Bill presents is designed for people who want to create more ease and effectiveness within their relationships, both at home and work. His latest book is “The Emotional Sobriety Solution: Have More Joy in Your Life in Less Than 30 Days.” This is Part 1 of the interview. Info: https://www.billstierle.com/