21: Language that Keeps Teens Coming Back for Your Support & Guidance

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By Ed Gerety. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Cynthia Klein is an Educator, Coach, Speaker, and Author. Through her work, Cynthia helps parents of children from age five to thirty. Cynthia understands how frustrating it is when your teen doesn’t let you in on their day-to-day life. Is it just because your teen is ‘going through a phrase’? No! It’s on you to open the lines of communication and learn how to truly listen to your teen. Cynthia shares how to develop a closer relationship with your child in this week’s episode.

Key Takeaways

  • How do you make your teen feel heard and understood when they’re opening up to you?
  • When should a parent first start to create an open dialogue with their teen?
  • You first need to determine if you want to work with them, or if you want to be an authority figure with them.
  • You can’t be the authority figure all the time, especially if you want your teen to open up and trust you.
  • Your teen is still developing, so it’s important to create safety around good decision making.
  • Parents often think they know best, although this maybe true, it sends the wrong message to teenagers.
  • As a parent, start getting good at recognizing communication blocks. Is your child talking more or are they shutting down when you chime in with your opinion?
  • Children often say they’re ‘fine’ because it’s a safer option than actually sharing how they are feelings.
  • Practice non-judgmental listening. It takes confidence and trust in your teen.
  • When you notice you have used a communication block with your teen, use this opportunity to apologize and try again.
  • When you placate your child, it can feel like you’re being a cheerleader, but it really rubs off on them as being condescending and sarcastic.
  • Another thing parents unconsciously do when their child is sharing something, as a way to relate, they share a bit about their past, but it ends up turning the problem around back on to the parent, and the child feels unheard.
  • How do you communicate with your child via texting and social media?
  • No matter what, have a weekly family meeting where you talk about the positives and the negatives.
  • Is this something you want to work on? Tell your child to help you out! Let them know you’re learning ‘how to just listen’.

Sponsored by:

www.vsac.org

Resources:

Cynthia’s Website: https://www.bridges2understanding.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.klein.bridges

Free chapter from her book Ally Parenting – You can keep video games from overtaking your family -https://ally-parenting.com/free-chapter

Allyparenting.com

Ally Parenting by Cynthia Klein

Cynthia on LinkedIn

Quotes:

“Your teenager can end up feeling defeated because you’re trying to tell them to feel differently.”

“Giving unwanted advice, interrogating, and placating are three major, major communication blocks.”

“Everyday, offer two minutes of silence and listening, and don’t comment later on what they said.”

47 episodes