236: You Are Not A Sh*tty Parent


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By Katayune Kaeni, Psy.D., PMH-C and Katayune Kaeni. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Welcome to today’s show! Parents have an unfortunate knack for being too hard on themselves, comparing themselves to others, and living in constant judgment of their decisions. This conversation takes a closer look at how self-compassion, understanding, and lighthearted humor can make the parenting journey easier. Join us to learn more!

Dr. Carla Naumburg is a clinical social worker, mother, and the author of five nonfiction books, including her international bestseller, How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids, and You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent. She also wrote the upcoming book,How to Stop Freaking Out, which is the middle-grade adaptation of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids. Carla infuses her witty sense of humor into her work and writing, bringing lightheartedness into subjects that are often filled with judgment, shame, and guilt. In this episode, she explains “Sh*tty Parent Syndrome,” why so many parents are suffering from it, and how self-compassion can make all the difference.

Show Highlights:

  • What Sh*tty Parent Syndrome is–and why you are NOT a sh*tty parent
  • Reasons why SO many people feel like they are bad parents–(it comes down to the way our brains are wired!)
  • Why social media causes us to compare ourselves to literally everyone in the world, both inside and outside our demographic
  • Why it’s a gift when people are truly honest about their parenting experiences
  • How Carla learned about self-compassion and how it benefits us as parents to squelch the anxiety and confusion
  • How self-deprecation and self-contempt become our native language about parenting, especially for women
  • Why we need to expect that chaos is the normal state of parenting–(why do we expect anything different?)
  • A fresh look at “happiness” for parents and our kids
  • How treating yourself with compassion (connection, curiosity, and kindness) reduces anxiety and depression and brings better mood and health
  • Why it’s a BIG deal to find connection with the people who let you know that you are not alone
  • How to use curiosity as the antidote to judging ourselves as a sh*tty parent
  • How to treat yourself with kind self-talk (Hint: It takes practice!)
  • Why we need moments of compassion every day
  • Why parents should not judge themselves for the decisions they made during the pandemic


Connect with Carla: Website, Instagram, and Facebook

Order Carla's new book, You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent, in paperback, Kindle, or audiobook format!

Visit www.postpartum.net for resources!

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

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258 episodes