Ep 78 - How We Make Influencing Harder For Ourselves


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By Carla Miller. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Are you getting in your own way when it comes to influencing?

When we're trying to influence, we often make it about other people and believe that they’re the problem. However, the way we are showing up greatly impacts our ability to influence effectively.

In this episode, I share the common ways you might trip yourself up and how to adjust your approach for a more positive result.

Listen for:

  • How to recognise when you’re reacting and what has triggered it
  • Using the 90 second rule as a tool for responding
  • Identifying your unspoken rules and values in the workplace
  • What unconscious needs are and how they influence our actions

After this episode I encourage you to explore your unspoken rules, values and unconscious needs, and reflect on how they’re impacting you as a leader.


Harvard Business Review – Achieving Gender Balance Article: https://hbr.org/2021/11/achieving-gender-balance-at-all-levels-of-your-company

Ep 75: Are You A People Pleaser?: https://www.carlamillertraining.com/blog/ep-75-are-you-a-people-pleaser

Jill Bolte Taylor - The 90 Second Rule: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-right-mindset/202004/the-90-second-rule-builds-self-control


Increase your confidence and assertiveness at work in my new 4-week course for women.

Learn how to set healthy boundaries, say no more often, speak up more confidently in meetings, worry less about what others think of you, have the courage to have challenging conversations and be more assertive in your communication.

Each weekly session is delivered as a 2 hour online workshop, starting on Wednesday 23 February.

Find out more here: https://www.carlamillertraining.com/bebolder


As well as coaching women leaders in my programme Influence & Impact, I also give keynote speeches and trainings to organisations wanting to develop women in leadership roles. I would like to work more with organisations that are committed to gender equality and reducing their gender pay gap.

Get in touch to find out more, book a call or share my details with your HR team.



LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlamiller1/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thisiscarlamiller/

Website: https://www.carlamillertraining.com/


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95 episodes