Relationships over Rules: Avoiding the Battle for Control | An Interview with Dr. Roger Smith

Homeschool Talks: Ideas and Inspiration for Your Homeschool

As parents, we want to have a close relationship with our kids and raise them to be independent and to do what’s right. But somewhere along the way, we may find ourselves in a struggle for control. Sound familiar? Join Dr. Roger Smith (author of Parenting with Influence) and Jim Mason (HSLDA President) on this week’s episode of Homeschool Talks as they examine the parent-child relationship dynamic. They’ll discuss what rules are for, why influencing children is more effective than trying to control them (and how to influence them!), and how homeschooling can provide an advantage for children in building strong family relationships.

“You don’t develop a relationship through rules. There are a lot of purposes for rules. Rules can guide us, rules can train us, but that’s not a way to manage a relationship over the long haul.

I always liken it to driving a stick shift car. At first, you have to have the rules. First, you put your foot on the clutch while you have your foot on the brake and you mechanically do all these different things. But before long, it’s automatic. . . . You’re independent of the rules. The rules may still be there, but they’re not the focus anymore.”—Dr. Roger Smith