ERP 340: The Essential Skill Of Tracking Openness in Relationship — An Interview With Dr. Kathryn Ford


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By Jessica Higgins. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

When your partner or someone else calls you out or you feel attacked, it's natural to go into defense mode. Humans are simply wired that way. Defensiveness, however, can hinder your ability to relate to others and damage your relationships.

Aperture awareness is an essential skill for open, honest, and healthy communication. While our brains are built to instantly read an aperture, not everyone is aware of this, so they fail to recognize the signs. The good news is that it's a skill that can be acquired.

In this episode, Dr. Kathryn Ford elaborates on aperture awareness and its significance in relationships. You'll learn how to read body language as a sign of awareness, as well as some highly structured exercises to help people slow down.

Kathryn Ford, M.D. is a relationship expert and creator of the couples therapy model, Aperture Awareness™ — the felt sensation of availability for connection. She's been practicing psychotherapy for over 20 years in private practice and through workshops at Stanford University. She received her M.D. from Brown University Medical School and did her psychiatry residency at The Stanford School of Medicine. In addition to her traditional training, both her yoga practice and her life-long meditation practice have informed her life and her work.

Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website.

In this episode

8:02 What sparked Kathryn's interest in mindfulness and relationships?

15:42 Understanding aperture awareness and why it's often disregarded.

21:18 Body language as a sign of responsiveness and awareness.

30:27 Fostering trust by rewarding risk-taking.

32:49 Pumping the brakes and riding the waves.

41:52 How to sift through your partner's words for the kernel of truth.

54:50 The power of slowing down.

58:34 How to connect with Dr. Kathryn Ford.


About Kathryn Ford M.D. (*Psychology Today)

Stanford Continuing Studies

Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love

Connect with Dr. Kathryn Ford





Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins






Twitter: @DrJessHiggins



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365 episodes