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The SelfWork Podcast

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The SelfWork Podcast

Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD

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I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 25 years and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment, and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or somehow suggests you can't "fix" your own problems. My team is so honored that five years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 3.5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question. And, once a month, you’ll hear a “You Get the ...
 
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show series
 
Generally, when someone is called “a bundle of nerves,” they’re not describing a state of being that’s pleasant or desired. Those nerves could range from the fairly common experience of self-consciousness, where you have a heightened sense of yourself, to actual social anxiety, when the fear of being perceived negatively or being scrutinized by oth…
 
Click this link to try out some of the best CBD out there! Ozark Mountain Medicine's CBD products and get 10% off! BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now! Psychology Today article on "Estrangement: The Silent Epidemic" New York Times article on Fractured Families Forbes article on parental alienation You can hea…
 
The term “cancel culture” came to be around 2016 and according to the dictionary, it’s the practice or tendency of engaging in mass canceling as a way of expressing disapproval and exerting social pressure. Yet, in families, estrangement has been around quite a long time. Parents can distance themselves from children. Adult children can stop “comin…
 
We’re going to talk about labels today - and how the mental health world, its science, its leaders, and its language might be influencing us to over-pathologize what’s normal. Meaning that you can come to believe something is sick or wrong or abnormal when actually it IS normal when it’s understood in its own context. But another fact may be even m…
 
Samantha Skelly is such a vibrant and fascinating guest! She wrote her book several years ago - Hungry for Happiness: Stop Emotional Eating and Start Loving Yourself. And this is what she says about it: This book is how I turned my mess into my message. The journey of struggling with emotional eating, exercise addition & severe body image issues - …
 
I began this episode thinking I’d talk about ten things I’d learned from being a therapist. But I realized that almost every one of them could be their own podcast episode. Today we’ll focus on the first – not in importance, but the first that came to mind – perhaps connected with the zeitgeist of our time. The need to be right or living being cert…
 
Radical acceptance is a termed that describes a way of being - acknowledging the reality of what is happening rather than fighting it emotionally and thus, causing yourself, and perhaps even others, more suffering. I very much like a Carl Rogers quote that Tara Brach, author of the 2003 best-seller, Radical Acceptance, used in her book; “The curiou…
 
My dad used to say to us as kids, “Your rights end where someone else’s nose begins.” And that’s where I began learning about boundaries. Psychological boundaries are those that define where your own personal limits are as to what is emotionally harmful, and what is not. And that is unique to every individual. We'll ask these questions: What makes …
 
Terry McGuire is a former broadcast journalist and voiceover talent who has earned a living with her voice for more than four decades. After experiencing her longest and darkest depression, she decided to use her experience to begin to give voice to depression through beginning the podcast - Giving Voice to Depression. There, she has collected and …
 
Today we’re going to talk about guilt and self-forgiveness. Basically there are two forms of guilt. Healthy guilt – or when you feel remorse for something that you did or said or felt – and maladaptive guilt which is guilt that doesn’t serve any positive rationale, but instead eats you up from the inside. For example, survivor’s guilt, a fairly com…
 
I’m so delighted to bring you this interview in recognition of Suicide Awareness Month. Why? Erin Gallagher, current interim executive director of This Is My Brave, is going to tell you about the life and suicidal death of her son, Jay. His life was ended after his high school had been alerted there were warning signs – big ones – very alarming one…
 
Here’s a special preview of the new season of The Happiness Lab for the YGTG for this month! You might think you know what it takes to lead a happier life… more money, a better job, or Instagram-worthy vacations. You’re dead wrong. Yale professor Dr. Laurie Santos has studied the science of happiness and found that many of us do the exact opposite …
 
One of my favorite things to do on SelfWork is to respond to your questions! The first is a reaction to a recent podcast from 19 year-old podcaster Sadie Sutton who was explaining her journey with depression and her parents’ role in it. This listener wanted to know if I was following up with an interview with her parents – a great question actually…
 
What’s emotional incest? (Please be aware that you could be triggered by this episode if abuse is in your past and I’ll share links to help lines.) It’s not the same as sexual incest – but can certainly cause its own type of damage. It falls within the dynamic of enmeshment but has its own definition and characteristics. Emotional incest is defined…
 
We can’t believe it! 300 episodes!!! And that’s due to your loyalty and your emails and your messages and your support and your reviews and…. well, you! Thank you!!! I had a topic in mind for this three hundredth episode of SelfWork. But I realized that what was on my heart and mind was how so many of you don’t think you have the time to deal with …
 
I’ve had many people tell me over the years that they feel free to tell me things because they know I cannot tell anyone else. That’s true of course- unless I believe that there's imminent danger of some kind to them or someone else. But I don’t think of my role as that of secret-keeper. Instead I think of a therapist as offering safety rather than…
 
On SelfWork, I love to feature people who have used their own experience – and sometimes that experiences involves loss or grief – to live through something that has taught them important lessons. And they want to share that you. Krista St-Germain is that kind of person. I’ll let her tell her story but I think you’ll be surprised at some of how she…
 
A listener left a voicemail for me within the past couple of weeks… in fact, two. Basically she asked, “I have trouble bonding with people and find myself not expecting too much. I’m in a good relationship now with my partner, but how do I get over this issue? Can you give tips on how to start trusting myself, others and especially my parents?” I w…
 
Today on You Get the Gist, you’re going to get to hear from Wade LIghtheart Who’s Wade Lightheart? Well, he’s the cofounder of BiOptimizers, who became a new sponsor of SelfWork just last week! But he’s a three-time Canadian national all-natural body building champion, and a former Mr. Universe contestant who trained as a vegan – so he’s a guy that…
 
Today we’re going to focus on how to help your teen with depression through an interview with a great guest, 19 year-old Sadie Sutton, host of the podcast She Persisted. She was first diagnosed with depression when she was 13 and by the age of 14, had been hospitalized four times for severe depression, anxiety, and suicidality. Realizing things wer…
 
I’m thrilled today to introduce you to a new sponsor of SelfWork! Not only have I used this product for over three years, but it suddenly dawned on me that I should talk to them about a collaboration! And voilá… here it is. Let me introduce you to Ozark Mountain Medicine’s fantastic CBD products! We’re delving into my SelfWork emailbag again this w…
 
If you've listened to SelfWork, or read my book Perfectly Hidden Depression, you know that I've cautioned about doctors and clinicians' overdependence on the DSM-V (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition). In this riveting conversation with the author of Pathological: The True Story of Six Misdiagnoses and activist…
 
Shame. People often come into therapy saying things like, “I’m afraid I’m wasting your time, “ or, “I don’t know why I can’t pull myself together, “ Or, “If I believed in my faith and God enough, I wouldn’t be here. But because I am, I’ve failed.” I know – without a doubt – I’m listening to shame talking. Today, we’re going to focus on the shame th…
 
Today's YGTG (You Get the Gist) is focused on self-help; can you seek out too much help? The answer is yes. Self-help can actually make some people feel inferior and ashamed, rather than better about themselves - especially if you inundate yourself with it, or are almost addicted to seeking out articles and TikTok's and Instagram reels. And... podc…
 
Back when I was busy creating my own emotional chaos, my therapists used CBT therapy (cognitive behavioral therapy) and family systems therapy – both of which were very helpful to me. But today, we’re taking a dive into a therapy I wish had existed then ... DBT or dialectical behavior therapy. Why? Because DBT teaches distinct tools for those whose…
 
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