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Countdown to blast off stoner Aries! The final push to the new year will see cosmic waves of strength and energy propelling you forward toward your future you. Seek balance my rambunctious Ram throughout the month with hybrid strains of our sacred herb. Balance is the key to reaping the rewards of this fiery celestial influence. A pure Sativa canna…
 
Stoner Cancer, you may be ready to load the bong, sit on the couch, and say good riddance to the crazy and hazy days of 2021. Unfortunately, my chronic-loving Crab, you still have a few more weeks to go before you can embrace the new beginnings of a new year. For now, while you shouldn’t expect every challenge to recede, you can expect for the star…
 
Stoner Capricorn, what is your mission on this terrestrial plane? In this existence hurtling through space on our spaceship Earth. It’s a heavy question, but one worth considering once in a while. I have a friend and mentor who contemplates ‘service to self’ and ‘service to others’ as modes of personal action. This month, the universe will be sendi…
 
Stoner Gemini patience and understanding will be required to receive the celestial benefits of the first Winter month. Our sacred herb can be a wonderful tool to help us see hidden mechanisms that might be holding us back from progress. Perspective must be sought in December stoner Gemini. We may all be trapped within our own perspective of life, b…
 
Stoner Leo the hazy days of 2021 are coming to a close. As with many points during this chaotic year, December will ring true: You need to find your inner chill my proud Lion. Celestial influence in the first Winter month will bring cosmic winds of obsession and conflict. But with the sacred herb you can find the chill to smooth the edges of obsess…
 
Stoner Libra, you pride yourself in your contemplative, calculated, and at times, cautious approach to navigating your way through the cosmos. But, if there is anything the past year has shown you, it is that even the most meticulous preparations cannot prevent the universe from throwing a stem in those sticky plans. So, during the final days of 20…
 
Stoner Pisces, no matter what the past eleven months have held, you can look forward to a peaceful completion to 2021. It may not always feel like it when you’re in the moment, but as you look back on the year that was, you can be proud that you embraced all the highs, and overcame even the lowest lows, to become a wiser and stronger you! Those who…
 
It’s the holidaze stoner Sagittarius! For many this means sharing good food with good people, and kind buds with our closest cannabis companions. And for some, it means a time for giving gifts to their family and friends. Stoner Sagittarius, if you are the gift giving type, or are feeling particularly generous during this time of year, remember, th…
 
Stoner Scorpio, you thought 2020 was an interesting year. 2021 said “hold my bong!” The final month of the year might be an apropos finish to the wild ride of 2021. The decisions and actions you take in December will be impact-full in future periods. The year will finish on a serious note, much more-so than whimsical. But relax my cautious Scorpion…
 
Stoner Taurus, we all thought 2020 was dramatic, 2021 said, “Hold my bong!” This December will finish the year off with a bang. But more personally for you, the final month of the year will bring great conclusions and great ambitions. Great Conclusions: Stoner Taurus be ready early in the month for an important task with the sacred herb. The New Mo…
 
Stoner Virgo your natural state of being is on-point and on-mission. Of all the stoner star signs, possibly you know best that manifestation only occurs with action. December will be a comfortable period as universal influence coincides with your stoner directives. Those words may seem sweet like the sticky icky, but a lot can pass by with a cosmic…
 
Stoner Aquarius, like many of your four-twenty friendly peers, you may look back on the past eleven months wondering, ‘what just happened?!’ How is it that a year can seem so long, and also like it was January just three months ago? With the final days of 2021 upon us, you may be torn between making the most of it by going out in a blaze of glory, …
 
Stoner Virgo the clouds of Fall have fully set in. Not just within the terrestrial climate, but within astrological realms as well. Not doom and gloom, but more like a boring haze. But there is a bright side within this dense and dull period. The stoner Virgo is naturally built for this mundane drudgery. What other sign is better equipped mentally …
 
Stoner Taurus, preparations must be made to traverse through the month of November with success and progress at heart. There will be a confluence of events this month. Mars, Mercury, and the Sun will all be within the sign. It even has a funky name: Satellitium. The triumvirate of celestial bodies will place a strong influence on the stoner Taurus.…
 
Stoner Scorpio, you have purchased your ticket. You are buckled in. There is no getting off this roller coaster ride in November! Perhaps the most important task for the month is the preparation you can make to navigate through all the ups and downs, and twists and turns, expected during this period. Stock your stash jars with a wide range of canna…
 
Stoner Sag you are a bold hunter and master strategist. As such you know when it is time to embark on the terrestrial plane with mission goals, and when it is time to hold up and contemplate your universal instructions. The hunt is much more successful with proper planning. The November time period will be spent planning and strategizing for future…
 
Take a deep breath stoner Pisces. Hold it. Hold it. And exhale. Breathe easy my stoner Fish. There is no need to rush through November. This autumn is all about kicking back and lighting up. So go ahead, pack another bowl and allow yourself to really slow your roll. Of course you should continue finishing up the current tasks on your to-do list, bu…
 
Stoner Libra, there’s no need to wait for the New Year to start working on the New You! Other signs have already resigned themselves to a slow roll through Winter: Stuck on the couch, performing the same predictable actions every day – eat, smoke, sleep, repeat. Not you stoner Libra! This month you will be busy ripping up the weeds, preparing the g…
 
My kind, loving, loud-smoking Leo, you are the leader of the stoner Zodiac pride. Equally confident, and chronic loving; ready to light up, and light the way whenever your cannabis companions need guidance. But, this month, you will likely find that you are the one who needs someone to lean on. And just like when you find a few stems and seeds in y…
 
Stoner Gemini …. Ready! Set! Go! November promises to be a bustling period of frenetic energy and diligent work. Time, effort, and labor will all blur together like no other period felt in the recent past or near future. Let’s go stoner Gemini! Put on your hard hat, grab your favorite piece, and embrace the grind. Fill your stash jar early in the m…
 
Stoner Capricorn you are in the middle of a confluence of celestial events this November. The word of the month is satellitium: A group of several planets in a sign. The Sun, Mars, and Mercury will all be visiting the Capricorn sign this month. This triumvirate of celestial bodies will bring with them a deep connection to your fellow terrestrial as…
 
Stoner Cancer, you are accustomed to processing the intense emotions that arise as you navigate the unstable streams of the cosmos during the times of tumultuous tides. But, there are many of your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts who may easily become overwhelmed when the waters get too rough. It’s been quite a wild ride so far this year, and y…
 
Stoner Aries, did you take advantage of the slow and balanced flow last month. Did you break away from the stereotype of being a fierce, fast-moving fire sign; and instead float along the mellow moving cosmic waters? I hope so, my red-eyed Ram. Because if last month was marked by balance and moderation, and filled with peaceful smoke sessions and h…
 
Stoner Aquarius, when given the choice between smoking the roaches, or a fresh bowl, who wouldn’t choose to go with the good green? Make sure you apply the same logic when deciding your schedule as you head into the final stretch of 2021. You want to be able to start the New Year working on new endeavors, not wasting time hurrying to finish yesterd…
 
Stoner Virgo, hi-ho hi-ho, it’s off to work we go. Is that the mantra that keeps you safe, happy, and pushing progress? In October there will be an opportunity to squeeze more out of life than tangible project manifestation. With the season of Libra, celestial influence brings balance and opportunity for the stoner Virgin. Sure sure, I know stoner …
 
Stoner Taurus very few members of the stoner Zodiac enjoy some “me time” more than you. Celestial influence in the second Fall month brings support for internal contemplation. But instead of vanity, the cosmic winds will bring a more progressive and constructive internal attention. October presents an opportunity to recognize your stellar stoner tr…
 
My dear stoner Pisces, it is not by accident that you are considered the most kind and caring amongst the stoner Zodiac. It is your ability and willingness to take the time to listen unconditionally to your fellow tokin terrestrial astronauts. And really get to know them, which earns you the title of ‘the sensitive one’. Some might see this as a ne…
 
Stoner Scorpio we are entering into a month of re-balancing. This October exercise in stability will pull your guarded emotional fringes back to center. No more leaning on emotional crutches my fierce Scorpion! By the end of the second Fall month you will be standing firmly on two feet, square, balanced, and confident. Lean into the cosmic winds of…
 
Stoner Sagittarius do you feel that bounce in your step? That positive vibration in your bow tension? You are feeling an extra tingle in the air for good reason. The universe will be vibrating in tune with your celestial mission in October. Toke time for cannabis in consistent light smoke sessions this month. There is a true blessing in the univers…
 
Ah stoner Libra, you are the stoner star sign filled with a balanced mission on the terrestrial plane. But so often this justice-seeking eye is turned outwardly as you strive to bring balance to others. In October, cosmic winds may knock you out of your comfort zone. Instead of bringing justice and balance to your smoke circle, the month will be fi…
 
Stoner Leo, the theme of October is to manage expectations. Others EXPECT you to be the roaring, reefer-loving Lion; ready to light one up, and lead your fellow stoner Zodiac up through the haze to higher planes. Right now, at this moment, what you need to focus on most are the expectations you have for yourself! You see no one else staring back at…
 
Stoner Gemini, for some in the stoner Zodiac autumn is a time to slow down, bundle up, and allow themselves a little more time being comfortably stoned on the couch. But, this month, the stoner Twin will not be caught lounging or wasting any of the limited hours of daylight the Fall season offers. While many around you will be content slowing their…
 
My diligent stoner Capricorn, October promises to be a wonderful time period. Even if cosmic support goes against your usual stoner directives, there will be opportunity for growth and progress. With the connected nature of cannabis, it will be easy to float high out of your comfort zone. The studious stoner Capricorn is one of the hard working mem…
 
Stoner Cancer, you are often characterized by the unpredictability of your emotions; consistently pulled back and forth between elevated highs and seemingly unavoidable lows. But this October, you can expect to experience a period of true and welcomed peace. It will take investment and effort on your part, but you can reach the middle of the path o…
 
Stoner Aries the October time period will be enlightening, frustrating, and fantastic all in one balanced ball of celestial perfection. The season of Libra will bring with it something you are not accustomed to: Balance. This statement may seem silly at first. But you are the energetic Ram, always on the front hoof moving forward, guided by exubera…
 
It’s October stoner Aquarius! The first full month of Fall. The days are growing shorter while the trees are shedding their leaves in anticipation of the frosty winter blanket they will soon be wearing. As you look around you will notice most others in your orbit are stocking up their stash jars, pulling out their warmer wardrobe, and generally pre…
 
Stoner Taurus, if this September was taking place in the latest Fall rom-rom: Everyone would be roasting bowls. Ready with witty one-liners and snarky comebacks. Passing the joint while laughing at each other’s five-year-old. Espousing inside stoner jokes that have been told a hundred times before, but that everyone still thinks are hilarious. The …
 
Stoner Scorpio the first Fall month sets up to be a blessed period, but it won’t be devoid of tactical nuance. So much of the universal influence and support in September centers around effort born from creativity, married to community. Wow, that was a mouthful. Early in the month toke time with the sacred herb to tap into the creative complex of t…
 
Click click click is the loud sound as the car is jerked forward in unison. You are filled with anxiety and anticipation. Each click, each jerk, draws more eagerness and dread inside of you. Finally the car reaches the top of the climb. There is a moment of weightlessness before the plunge. Acceleration, euphoria, and adrenaline all combine in that…
 
For some stoner Pisces, September will mark the beginning of a new chapter in their smokey story; a time where the weather is cooling down, but the good vibes are heating up. For others, it could be a continuation of the same hazy, hard-to-handle happenings they have been dealing with in past months. But, it’s not up to the cosmos which path will b…
 
Stoner Libra, remember that even the tallest of trees is only as strong as its roots. With cosmic winds expected to increase with intensity, and become more unpredictable in September, it will be crucial to prepare yourself. Make sure you are planted firmly in solid ground. If you haven’t been working in the past months on finding your inner equili…
 
Stoner Leo in many ways September will play out like a choose-your-own-adventure tale. As you are the author of your own story, attention must be paid early in the month to manifest positivity so you don’t write a nightmarish chapter. Seriously stoner Lion. Toke time early in the month to meditate with the sacred herb. Make sure this solo smoke ses…
 
Stoner Capricorn the month of September sets up to be as complex as your inner machinations. As it is tough to pin down your stoner traits on any given day, so too will it be difficult to predict universal influence in the first Fall month. Make sure your treasure chest of cannabis strains is loaded early in the month my mercurial Sea-Goat. Flexibi…
 
Dare to dream stoner Gemini. The September time period is a powerful month for the stoner Twin. Confidence, diligence, and a positive mental attitude will be the keys to unlocking the cosmic magic manifesting in the first Fall month. Early in the month toke time with the sacred herb. Dare to dream stoner Gemini! Use communions with cannabis to fly …
 
Stoner Cancer, if there is one thing you can count on in September, it’s that plans are always subject to change. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to look ahead, just don’t stress too much when you have to alter course, or take a different route, to reach your destination. These detours, which at first might feel like setbacks or delays, could e…
 
Stoner Aries the cosmic influence of September doesn’t lean into your strong stoner traits. Introspective contemplation is never your desired state of mind! However, sometimes a little support in areas unfamiliar is the key to a progressive period. Don’t fret my bold Ram. With the contemplative universal support present this month, deep dives with …
 
Stoner Aquarius, you are familiar with, and likely partake in, some form of annual Spring cleaning. How about the concept of Fall foundation building? Are you ready? It might sound like it’s still a long way away, but just like objects in the mirror, 2022 is much closer than it appears! After the past few months spent on the grind: Working, playing…
 
Stoner Virgo the month of August will be similar to that time you hit the pipe, or joint, one time too many in one session. Crashing waves of stoned paranoia followed by troughs of paralyzing deep contemplative thoughts all leaving you beached on an island within yourself. We’ve all been there, my logical Virgin. The great news is that you survived…
 
Stoner Taurus August will be an emotional period. All of the human condition will be felt on the terrestrial journey through the final Summer month. In the first two weeks of August, lean heavy on the sacred connection provided by cannabis. Universal influence will support digging deep into the roots of your familial bonds. Toke time to medicate an…
 
Stoner Scorpio, who said the Summer season was all about lounging in the solar rays? Not you, not this August! No need to prepare for an ambitious final Summer month, you already know what is coming. And it comes fast stoner Scorpio. Universal influence will make an immediate impact in the first days of August as all your hard work recently will tr…
 
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