HARKpodcast

World Animal Day approaches (probably), and we are celebrating (kind of) with two festive songs about animal companions! "Santa Claus Rides a Strawberry Roan" by Jim Lowe is unfortunately less about celebrating its titular animal companion and more about shit-talking reindeer. "Jingles the Christmas Cat" by Freddy Cole doesn't give us much more in …

Since the High Holidays are just around the corner, we're listening to two songs celebrating their winter-time relative, Hanukkah! By request, we hear "The Night of the Dreidel" by Craig Carothers, a song with an epic-sounding title that tells a smaller, sweeter story about a drama-free holiday. But don't worry, "The Chanukah Song (We Are Lights)" …

It's been a long month, and we're closing it out by going back to the beginning. Randy Brooks's own version of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" joins our list, as does his own parody of his own novelty hit, "Grandma Got Run Over by Corona". The bar is low and he's just gotta clear it to get us to the end of this freaking month!! The ranking mus…

It's the second installment of our inexplicable self-inflected psychological experiment, August Got Run Over By a Reindeer! Our theme for these started out as "grandparents being run over by other, non-sleigh vehicles", but we discovered a variety of common threads. "Grandpa Got Runned Over By a John Deere" by Cledus T. Judd and "Grandpa Got Run Ov…

Well, it's come to this. Welcome to our first installment of "August Got Run Over By a Reindeer", a month-long "celebration" of the many, many mutations of Elmo and Patsy's 1979 novelty hit, "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer". We ease our way in with two covers recorded by some familiar, nostalgic musical acts - Less Than Jake and Reel Big Fish. …

It's Ian's birthday (soon)! So he's running the dang podcast!!! For his Birthday Boy's Choice picks, he lands on two classic-adjacent tunes from years not yet covered on the show. "Happy Holidays" by Bing Crosby (with the Music Maid and Hal and John Scott Trotter and His Orchestra) seems like a commercial for hotels masquerading as a Christmas song…

We're back on our bullshit! Our bullshit being "dicussing listener requests". We take a look at two songs with a surprising amount in common - "Lonely Christmas" by WALLIS and "Alien Christmas" by Tay Zonday. Both are 2020 Christmas songs by artists who got their start by going viral on youtube - and both beg the question, "ok but is this good actu…

We're going to be taking our next scheduled episode off because we're doing some traveling this month. To help prepare us for our trip to the U.S., we're taking two requests for some good old fashioned American country music. "Christmas Time's A-Comin'" by Emmylou Harris is a song from a country tradition we enjoy, namely bluegrass. "364 Days to Go…

This week on HARK, we've got two songs with the same title and very different stakes. By request, we cover "Santa Please" by Bill Medley, a tale of alcoholism, regret and reconciliation at Christmas that leaves us troubled. Then, we discuss "Santa Please" by Toni Braxton, which is basically just four minutes of the singer sexily asking to speak to …

Sometimes we take requests, and sometimes we take a while to cover those requests. And sometimes, sometimes, someone who's waiting to hear us cover their request sends us back-up requests in case their first requests were not holidays-ish enough. Thus, sometimes -- specifically this time -- Ian uncerimoniously schedules those backup requests for an…

Listen. When the universe gives us two songs titled "Feeling Like a Right James Blunt at Christmas" (by Death of Guitar Pop featuring James Buckley) and "Merry Christmas James Blunt" (by Wash Your Dirty Money With My Art featuring Martin Meincke), what are we supposed to do, NOT theme an episode around it? The ranking music in this episode is, I me…

It's that time of year again, baby! Blaze it up with us (figuratively) as we discuss two weed-related Christmas songs, "Green Christmas" by Snoop Dogg featuring Jenn Em, and "Merry Christmas Mary Jane" by Katie Pruitt. The ranking music in this episode is "Roll Me Up" by Willie Nelson featuring Jamey Johnson, Kris Kristofferson, and of course, Snoo…

Easter and Passover are fast approaching, so as is HARK tradition, we listen to two more traditional, religious songs - one for Christmas, and one for Hanukkah. Except this year, we kind of blew it? You could call these songs religious, and they're both of a tradition, but we're going more folk festival than liturgical this year. "I Saw Three Ships…

By request, we're taking our first look at the Christmas tunes of music legend Neil Diamond! "You Make It Feel Like Christmas" is nothing if not very, very Neil, while his rendition of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" is a dozen other things he was apparently trying out. The ranking music in this episode is (what else) "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diam…

Just in time for Pi Day, we're covering two versions of the greatest Christmas song ever written about having some FUCKING PIE!!! The ranking music in this episode is "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee.

By listener request, we've got two covers of cartoon-related Christmas classics! "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)" as performed by JP Maurice says a polite no-thank-you to skits, while Khruangbin's version of "Christmastime is Here" is a whole vibe. The ranking music in this episode is "Skating" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio. Thank you to …

Valentine's Day is approaching, and we're celebrating with two tracks from one of our favorite (bad) holiday romcoms, Christmas in the City (2013). "You're My Christmas" by Juliet Lyons may have been stuck in our heads for years now, but there's still something a little off about it. After revisiting it, "Christmas Love" by Ashanti feels like a bre…

New year, new requester! As suggested by a first-time requester, we listen to two songs off of an intriguing album by a new-to-us artist. "Listen the Snow is Falling" makes its third apperance on the show, this time as hauntingly performed by Thea Gilmore. Then we shoot the shit with Gilmore's "That'll Be Christmas", which is, you know, pretty good…

For our first episode of 2023, we're reflecting on the Christmas songs we heard in the wild during the recent holiday season! First up is the best of Kelly Clarkson's several attempts to craft an heir to the All I Want For Christmas Is You crown, "Underneath the Tree". Then - and you are going to have to trust us on the fact that we heard this song…

We're finally here, at that year-end vortex of holiday delights, and as always, we've got a new milestone episode to celebrate it! Ian is charged with finding the best song, and submits a mysterious tune that rides on vibes. Jam is in charge of finding the worst and, after whittling away some very terrible runners-up, presents a slurry mix of cynic…

Hanukkah is almost here, and to celebrate, we've got two- wait a sec, our producers are saying something. They say that we didn't do enough CanCon this year. Well, shoot, I guess we gotta scrap the songs that we were- what's that? A producer is now telling me the two Hanukkah songs we're listening to this episode ARE Canadian! Phew, that's pretty c…

It's that thanking-time holiday in the United States, and so we're expressing our gratitude for our long-time listeners - by covering a repeat requester's request! Long-time listener Liam brings us two UK Christmas #1s from the 1980s, the somewhat perplexing "Mistletoe and Wine" by Cliff Richard and the more straightforwardly fun "Merry Christmas E…

It's that most wonderful time of year again: BIRTHDAY BOI'S CHOICE. Jam is another year older and thus got to choose this episode's songs! As is their right!! First they treat Ian to TLC's delightful version of "Sleigh Ride". Then they throw a curveball with "The Mistletoe Jam (Everybody Kiss Somebody)" by Luther Vandross, a song with a premise so …

In this spoooOOOky episode, we listen to two Christmas songs by Halloween-y characters! By request, we've got The Cryptkeeper performing... (checks notes)... (sighs)... "Christmas Rap". And then non-puppet Alice Cooper (along with other presumably human men John 5, Billy Sheean, and Vinny Appice) covers "Santa Claws is Coming to Town". Did you see …

This epsiode was going to be themed around light, because Diwali is coming up soon? And then it kinda turned into being themed around requests from CJ, a longtime HARK listener. And theeeen it kind of turned into a third thing? We listened to "Donner and Blitzen" by Thor and "Bohemian Chanukah" by Six13, with open hearts and minds. Some corrections…

Eggnog Watch 2022 is well under way, and we're taking on another mission - to find some eggnog tunes to groove to while you scan those shelves. "Six Cups of Eggnog" by Larry Costa certainly sounds classic and celebratory, but may be more concerned with what's in the nog than the superlative drink itself. Thankfully, a visionary emerges to set us on…

Ian and Jam are back, baby, and IT'S FALL. So pull your scarves out of your closets, spice your pumpkins, and get ready to celebrate the High Holy Days. In honor of Rosh Hashana, we listen to "New Year" by Regina Spektor and "Intangible Things (A Hanukkah Song)" by Haley K. Turner. This week's ranking music is "That Time" by Regina Spektor.…

We're about to take a few weeks off, but before we do that, let's cover some listener requests! While not themed, per se, they both deal with the hustle and bustle of the winter holiday season. "Winona Ryder Hates Christmas" by Fake Shark Real Zombie is a song that takes its inexplicably silly premise seriously, while "At Last, I'm Ready For Christ…

Ian and Jam are back on their bullshit, celebrating a holiday you've never heard of with - what else? - Christmas music! It's World Elephant Day, so join us as we merely skim the surface of the world of elephant-related Christmas music with "I Want an Elephant for Christmas" performed by the Peter Pan Caroleers and "I'd Like to Have an Elephant for…

IT'S BIRTHDAY BOY'S CHOOOOIICCCE Ian's birthday is this week, and so he's choosing the songs! And he's going for top 100 candidate kinda shit with the (mostly) touching lyrics of "Grateful for Christmas" by Hayes Carll and the (totally) smooth sounds of "I Dream of Christmas" by Norah Jones. This episode's ranking music is "Purple Snowflakes" by Ma…

Here we are, more than half way through 2022... and we haven't managed to add one dang Hanukkah song to the list! Ian and Jam remedy this with some seasonally appropriate warm weather Hanukkah tunes - "Hanukkah Hawaiian" by Regina Smoler and "Hanukkah in Santa Monica" (uh, no, not that one, a different one) by Mike Barnett and Allie Feder Kramer. O…

We're half-way through the year and we're marking it the old-fashioned way - by discussing two songs of absolutely divergent quality! By request, we listen to the heavenly "Angels Blush" by Basia, and then drag ourselves to hell with "Honorable Congratulations" by the McGuire Sisters. Our ranking music in this episode is "Coco Jamboo (Christmas Ver…

This week, we're finally covering our oldest request on record - a song whose original (but non-thematic) pair was discussed on the show way back in February 2019. It's "Run Rudolph Run" as performed by Lemmy, Billy Gibbons, and Dave Grohl for the We Wish You a Metal Xmas and a Headbanging New Year compilation album. And what better way to welcome …

I mean, what else were we going to do for this episode? 311 didn't leave us a LOT of options, so we had to go with "Mele Kalikimaka" performed by Nick Hexum. Then, for reasons, we listened to The Offspring's cover of "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)". This episode's ranking music is "Amber" by 311! Of course!…

Inspired by the upcoming World Goth Day, we find a dark jewel in "Things Fall Apart" by Cristina. And then we kinda wander away from World Goth Day, with Ian instead leading RJ down a seemingly circuitous but actually quite straightforward route to arrive at "Christmas Time in the Motor City" by Was (Not Was). This week's ranking music is "Christma…

We said we were going to do it, and we did it. It's an Arbor Day episode. But, you know, minus the dang trees. Maybe it's a belated Earth Day episode? Anyway, we discuss "The Holly and the Ivy" by Los Campesinos! and "Christmas Cactus" by Juliana Hatfield, and argue about the merits of medieval Jesus metaphors and extremely literal plant care tips.…

Easter and Passover are all well and good, but this week we're celebrating the more traditional HARK holiday: 4/20, baby. We take another look at Snoop Dogg Presents Christmas in the Dogghouse and discover "Christmas in the Hood" by Daz Dillinger featuring Deacon and "Xmas Trees" by Kurupt. Weed on earth and good weed to men, y'all. Our ranking mus…

There's a diversity of springtime holidays on the horizon, and we're covering some songs about holiday inclusivity (and lack thereof)! By request, we take a listen to "The Christians and the Pagans", a 1990s Christmas/Solstice classic by Dar Williams, followed by "The War on Christmas", a YouTube-era satire by Hot Dad. Our ranking music in this epi…

It started out with "Don't Shoot Me Santa". How did it end up like this? It was only "I Feel It In My Bones"; it was only "Dirt Sledding". Thank you to Phil the Killers Boy for these requests! Our ranking music in this episode is "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers.

This week we're looking at a request from many moons ago and revisiting one of RJ's favorite topics - muppets! Or at least, Jim Henson Company critters. "There's a Promise" from the Fraggle Rock holiday special and "Legend of the Winter Berry" from Bear in the Big Blue House both give us those warm, fuzzy feelings. This episode's ranking song is "G…

In celebration of - or, well, tangetially related to - Presidents' Day, we've got two Christmas songs from musical groups with appropriate names! The Presidents of the United States of America offer us "Christmas Piglet", while Mr. President re-gifts their mid-90s eurodance hit in "Coco Jamboo (Christmas Version)". Our ranking music in this episode…

Valentine's Day is approaching - the horniest holiday of the year! Well, maybe the second horniest. Ehhhh, at least top five. Anyway, we're talking about two horny winter holiday songs: "Holiday Freak Shit" by Mila J and "I've Got Some Presents for Santa" by Sarah Taylor & Bill Mumy! This week's ranking music is "Fish Heads" by Barnes & Barnes. The…

In honor or Burns Night, we're discussing some holiday music by Scottish artists! First up, we're delighted to find a potential 21st century Christmas classic in "Santa Will Find You" by Phil Cunningham's Christmas Songbook Band. Then we enjoy the nostalgia for incredibly recent times induced by "New Year's Resolution" by Camera Obscura! RJ says "N…

A new year has begun, but we're starting with a throwback - we address our oldest remaining requests from back in the tumblr days of the podcast! "Christmas Eve Eve" by Paul and Storm extolls the virtues of a liminal-space-esque not-holiday with cheerful charm, while "Calling on Mary" by Aimee Mann offers mystery, melancholy, metaphor maybe, and su…

We made it to our last episode of 2021 (and a big round number of episodes/songs) and to celebrate, we're trying to unseat the top and bottom songs on our list! As per tradition, RJ & Ian surprise each other with their picks - and by coincidence, both have picked new versions of songs that we've covered on the show before! Will these improved/impov…

Howdy, Herald Angels! This week on HARK: two underdogs in the canon of classic Christmas music. "(Everybody's Waiting For) The Man With The Bag" by Kay Starr is cheerful nonsense that teaches us some fun facts about music history. Then we hear another banger off of an album that has already landed in our top 100 songs once before: "The Merriest" by…

As we rapidly accelerate towards the winter holiday season, we've got a Hanukkah song and a Christmas song that go together like music and lyrics! Uh, you know, fine. "Hot Rod Hanukkah" by Meshugga Beach Party is a lukewarm track off of an otherwise great surf rock album, while "Christmas Nights in Blue" by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra is an enigma…

It's RJ's birthday week! And we didn't forget about birthday boy's choice this year! To celebrate, RJ lets Ian choose one of the songs (just like he did for them on his birthday in Episode 289), and he opts to finally add "Frosty the Snowman" (the original version by Gene Autry) to the list after all these years. For their choice, RJ selects the mu…

It's time for our annual Halloween episode, with no less than twenty-two ghouls! Listen, I made up that number of ghouls. I'm not sure how many ghouls we have. We listened to "13 Nights of Halloween" by Elvira, who rules, even if her novelty song is a bit too "spooky sounds for Halloween ambiance cassette tape". We also listened to "Aurora Borealis…

While we bide our time between the first and second phases of Eggnog Watch 2021, we're covering a request that's been languishing for years! And it offers plenty more blasts from the past - "Donde Esta Santa Claus" by Augie Rios is a 1958 novelty hit, and uh, you know how those are. Thankfully, "Player's Ball" by Outkast is a refreshing (so fresh) …