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Help us expand the Catholic Sexuality and Natural Family Planning conversation! With new episodes every Monday, expect real conversations about sex, intimacy, sexual ethics, Natural Family Planning, and more with hosts Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes. Grab your spouse, your fiancé, or your best friend and help us expand the conversation around catholic sexuality. Charting Toward Intimacy is sponsored by the Diocese of Oakland, California Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more i ...
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This is the radical feminist history party you've been waiting for. Recorded at Caveat in NYC, each episode of Nevertheless She Existed brings the story of an erased woman from history from our LES speakeasy right to your earbuds. You'll hear tales of gay nuns burned as witches, queens of NYC thieves, mothers, warriors, and poets. The fabulous, funny, and fierce comedians Molly Gaebe and Kylie Holloway serve as our hosts and voices as we travel down the rabbit hole of women's history. You'll ...
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Do you initiate regularly? If you don't, we think you should. But believe us, we're not sitting on our high thrones looking down on you with this topic, we're right there in the thick of getting more comfortable initiating ourselves. In this episode we're talking a little bit about why you should initiate more often, the conversations you need to h…
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People pleasers and rule followers unite! We're talking about breaking the NFP rules in this episode and what that looks like for your marriage, potential pregnancies, and how your NFP instructor really doesn't care if you're choosing to break the rules. But also, if you "break the rules" meaning you use days within your fertile window, you should …
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We're myth busting some common NFP Myths this week with special guest Agata! Ever wondered how to respond when people come at you with misunderstandings or just plain wrong info about NFP, fertility awareness or female fertility in general. We've got some answers and responses for you right here! Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click …
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God calls us to some very difficult situations especially concerning chastity and sexual ethics and morality within marriage. This comes up a lot during the fertile window when a couple is trying to avoid pregnancy and therefore needs to abstain. This week we are talking about how God will never put you in a situation that you can't get through wit…
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How do I know if something is morally good or bad? Is there a way to judge the things we do in life (especially in the sexual realm) to know if it's the right thing to do? Yes! there is a way to judge human actions. The Church gives us a very clear, step-by-step process to evaluate the morality of an action. Ellen will talk you through these steps …
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Talking about sex can be very intimidating. We urge you to talk about "it" with your spouse regularly on this podcast, but how do you get into the habit of communicating about sex We'd like to introduce you to a new idea on how to bring the topic of sex into conversation on a regular basis and why it is important to regularly communicate about sex.…
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What is the Eternal Banquet, the wedding feast of the Lamb? What is that really? I mean honestly we don't know, but God gives us windows to peer in and see tiny glimmers of the glory that await us in Heaven. Sometimes we turn those windows, those icons to heaven into idols. Sex is one of those things that we idolize. In this episode we'll pose the …
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Pain with Sex is not normal. Let me say that again. Pain with sex is not normal. If you're experiencing pain, let this episode be the wakeup call you need to do something about the pain you're experiencing. Kathleen and Ellen share some of their experiences with pain and discomfort and give you some tips if you are experiencing pain! Links: Sweet A…
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Every heard the term cycle syncing? well that's not what we're talking about in this episode. We're talking about ways to understand how to live your life to the fullest through the different phases of your cycle. How can you maximize your energy levels and focus on family time in ways that won't make you stomp around your house wanting to throw ev…
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We're talking mindset when it comes to sex for those of us ladies. This is a huge topic and we just scratch the surface on opening up some of the reasons we think and act the way we do around sex and some tips on how to improve your mindset when it comes to sex! ___________________________________ Want to get the outtakes, full video, and see baby …
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What constitutes a healthy sexual relationship? How do you know if you and your spouse have a healthy and mature sexual relationship? We dive into the characteristics of a healthy sexual relationship in this episode so that you can take stock of your own relationship. ___________________________________ Want to get the outtakes, full video, and see…
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The Sacrament of Marriage and the Sacrament of the Eucharist have some incredible connections. In fact, marriage acts as a sort of analogy for the Mass. We're going to dive into this and even more in this episode. If marriage is an analogy for the Mass, what kinds of connections can be made about the use of contraception in a marriage and what that…
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We are talking today about rules--the rules of our faith and how the rules around our faith are not arbitrary or oppressive! The church should not be viewed as oppressive, especially in regards to our sexuality. There's a really good reason it's not just free for all, and we're going to get into that in this episode. The Screwtape Letters by CS Lew…
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Guess what! You and your spouse are different people who have different wants and needs. Your spouse is not going to want the exact same things you want and you're not going to want the exact things your spouse wants. In fact, you spouse might not care one bit about something you want, and THAT'S OK. Here's why, it's your job as spouse to communica…
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It might not sound as sexy as you think. The one thing you can do to improve your sex life is to work on your marriage as a whole! Here's a great way to work on your marriage: Free Little Way of Marriage workshop If you want in on the LIVE Zoom session Ellen and Sarah are doing on June 14 at 12 pm PT, click the link above and sign up for the Free L…
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Here's the deal, you're not going to get good at sex by yourself. It takes two to tango! Sex is a team effort, and it takes practice to get good! The best sex happens when each spouse is focused more on the other than on themselves. If you're looking to get to have all-star sex, you need to train like an athlete. That means practice, communicate, a…
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Did you know there are two main types of desire? Spontaneous and Responsive. If you feel like your desire is always lacking or you "never" feel like having sex, you might have responsive desire. Guess what: You're not broken at all. In fact, you're completely normal. When it comes to desire, sometimes just the knowledge of what kind of desire you h…
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Sex is a window to something greater. It is an icon, or image, of God's love for us. Even within good, faithful Catholic marriages, sex can be a point of contention because we aren't seeing God through sex and our sexual relationship. We're looking at sex not through sex. When you switch your mindset and start to look through sex toward God, it bec…
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Want to get started with NFP but don't know where to go? Heard of NFP but you don't really know what it is? Have some questions about Natural Family Planning that you haven't been able to get a clear answer on? Look no further than this episode. Kathleen and Ellen answer the basic question of "What the heck is NFP?" We go over the cycle, methods of…
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Got questions about your first time? We have answers! Kathleen and Ellen share a little bit about their own first times to make you feel like you're not alone if your first time is.....not so great. We touch on questions like "what lube should we use?" "How do we figure out positions?" "What if we're tired on the wedding night?" "My friend told me …
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Sister M. Karolyn Nunes is joining us this week to talk about sexual wounds and healing. As the vocation director of her community, Sr. Karolyn helps to direct many women discerning religious life to start their own healing journeys when they have sexual wounds. One of the things lacking in marriage prep is ensuring that the healing process has beg…
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Let's talk about selfishness and NFP! This episode is stemming from a lot of talk about "contraceptive mentality." We're not really talking about contraceptive mentality in this episode, we're talking about the underlying question behind the conversations about contraceptive mentality: Can NFP be used selfishly? what about if you change the semanti…
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Ever heard the phrase "It's just not supposed to be this hard!" Maybe you've said it yourself. Well when it comes to your sanctification, it actually probably is supposed to be that hard. Holiness is hard, really hard. We're talking about how holiness is hard in relation to married life. A lot of the time engaged and married couples have a lack of …
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In this episode we are talking about scheduling sex--pros and cons, when it works and when it doesn't. Scheduling sex is a tool in the arsenal of ways to improve your sexual relationship. But here's the thing, scheduling does not work for every couple. Maybe it works for both of you, neither of you, or maybe it works for one spouse and not the othe…
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Ellen and Kathleen are back with another Charting Toward Intimacy episode. This week, we are talking about foreplay. What is foreplay? We have two basic categories for you Anticipatory Foreplay and Escalatory Foreplay Anticipatory Foreplay is simply things that make you anticipate sex at some point in the future. Anticipatory is more emotional in n…
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Have you ever felt like it's impossible to actually desire sex or to get turned on? Like the pot that doesn't boil until you walk away from it, you might be like us and not get turned on if you're thinking too much about it. It's not until you walk away, or focus on something else that your desire pokes its head out and looks around. We'll talk str…
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God is the model of intimate sexual communication...excuse me, what?!? In this episode we're discussing how because our marriages are an image of the relationship God wants to have with us, the ways that God communicates with his people in the Old Testament is a model for us of how we should be communicating in our most intimate relationships. Name…
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Kind of like the question of the chicken or the egg, which comes first physical or emotional intimacy? Well there are two basic camps that people typically fall into: (1) those who desire physical intimacy in order to feel emotionally close or (2) those who need to feel emotionally intimate before they are ready to be physically intimate. Here's th…
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Teena is a product designed for teens and preteens to get them excited about cycle tracking and help them understand what is going on in their cycle. I'm really excited to share this completely honest review with you. Teena did provide me one of their devices for free to check it out, but my review is completely my own. Head over to Instagram to en…
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We'd like to present the term "Responsible Parenthood" as the new word we start using when we are describing what Catholic married couples do when they discern children, use NFP, and really just live out their lives as married couples, regardless of fertility status. The term NFP falls short when we have discussions about what Catholic married coup…
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NFP Basics is an add-on marriage preparation module that any marriage prep/pre-cana program can easily implement into their program. NFP Basics covers the theology behind why the church teaches NFP for family planning and why the church has a prohibition on contraception and fertility treatments like IVF. Then the program covers basic fertility sci…
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Do you still struggle with reconciling that sex is good and holy? It's so common for us to think of sex as something bad or dirty, but it's not, I repeat NOT bad and dirty. Sex is good, it's better than good, it's HOLY. If you're wondering what we meant by unity cross, click here! Sorry that Googling "unity cross" doesn't actually give you what we …
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Let's chat about the marital debt! Who owes who sex? Who is supposed to be the one to sacrifice? What even is sacrificial love? We'll get into all these questions and more in this week's episode. Here's the book we mentioned called Theology of the Body in Simple Language Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talk…
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Your marriage is a battleground. Truly, the forces of good and evil are fighting against each other in your marriage and in all marriages. If you've ever felt like something is just fighting against you having a calm, peaceful, and good marriage.... it's because there is. Today in the episode we're talking about the particular difficulties of livin…
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We hear it a lot: "Contraception would be easier" "Why can't my husband and I just use a condom?" "I wish we could just have the option." Let's dive into why contraception isn't even a choice. We're pulling from Humanae Vitae as well as the Theology of the Body to get some answers. We get it, this topic isn't easy. Reach out to us, we want to hear …
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You're looking at your chart and you see the signs of ovulation and know phase 3 is coming. You're excited to finally be able to come together with your spouse after abstaining for a few weeks, the first time is great....then... well you're tired, you just don't feel like it, and suddenly phase 3 is over and you're looking ahead at more time of abs…
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Are you checking off the "NFP box" or is your heart really in it? We're bringing you this podcast episode to encourage you and your spouse to dig a little deeper into your "why" behind using NFP in your marriage. Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? NFP/FA Mindset coaching and NFP M…
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Kathleen takes over today and interviews Ellen about the past, present and future of the podcast. We chat about what started the podcast and where the spirit is leading us for the future of the podcast. Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? NFP/FA Mindset coaching and NFP Method Matc…
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Having trouble with discerning God's call for your family planning intentions? So are we! Join us to chat about discernment and we'll share with you the biggest secret to discernment. Spoiler alert! It's prayer. Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? NFP/FA Mindset coaching and NFP Me…
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Rachel Mullet Joins us to share her experience both with using the Birth Control Pill and then later sharing her experience with others and encouraging Natural Family Planning instead. Listen in for great tips on how to talk about this difficult subject with others! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked ab…
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Ever wondered what it really means that marriage is ordered to procreation? Why do we sometimes get people who think the only reason for marriage is having children? The primary end of marriage is procreation, but what does that mean for us and how do we work that into our discernment of avoiding or achieving pregnancy? Looking for support around s…
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Hey there! Welcome to this special bonus episode in partnership with FOCUS. This episode is also posted on the SEEK podcast! If you're in college and you haven't signed up for SEEK yet, now is the time. Click here for more info on SEEK23 Reach out to the Charting Toward Intimacy team on Instagram @chartingtowardintimacy or chartingtowardintimacy@gm…
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Ever been in a position to talk to a teen or young adult about NFP or Fertility Awareness and been unsure about how to approach it? Monica and Renzo Ortega are on to share about their experience being in a mentor roll with teens and young adults as youth ministers and how they navigate these sensative conversation topics. Monica and Renzo on Instag…
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Travelling soon? We've got tips for charting while you're traveling. Listen in for what to do when you're going to loose a day traveling, be in a different time zone, or maybe you're expecting your fertile window to close the day you are on an airplane all day long. Magic Mind is the sponsor of this week's episode. Check them out at magicmind.co/in…
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The state of NFP in Marriage Prep is....well terrible. Kathleen and I have some thoughts and I have a program that has been working incredibly well that I can't wait to share with you! If you are interested in NFP Basics the NFP Marriage prep module that we mention in this week's episode, email nfpbasics@ellenholloway.com or visit: ellenholloway.co…
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Kathleen and I dive into the theological implications of NFP and the fact that NFP really exists as a solution to a modern problem we have because of Original Sin. Magic Mind is the sponsor of this week's episode. Check them out at magicmind.co/intimacy use code INTIMACY20 at check out to save 20% off of a one time purchase or 40% off total off of …
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This conversation with Holly Baril is fascinating! We chat about her experience using and teaching the Creighton Model for over 20 years. Sneak peak: She would love to throw the chart out the window because charting is hard work and she's been doing it for what feels like forever, but she won't give it up because of the health benefits and knowledg…
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Brittany Pearson joins us to chat about the pelvic floor and how the health of your pelvic floor affects your life and especially your sex life! Find out more about Brittany here. Looking for more on the pelvic floor? Check out episode 70 with Jen of Tighten Your Tinkler. Looking for relief from pelvic floor issues? Tighten Your Tinkler's signature…
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You've got femtech questions, we've got answers. We're running through a whole bunch of tech like Tempdrop, Natural Cycles, Daysy, Apple Watch, Clearblue, Ava, Mira, and Inito to give you some insight into where you can use these things in your fertility awareness journey (and which ones you definitely can't use, at least not yet). Interested in Te…
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Christy Murray is back with us to discuss cycle irregularity, what it is, what's normal, and what you should do if you have irregularities. Christy came on the podcast before to share her journey through infertility - listen to episode 68 here. Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? N…
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