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Learn how to create great relationships, feel happier, grow as a person, achieve your ideal career, and make good things happen in your life. Host Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a psychologist, marriage and family therapist, certified life coach and founder of GrowingSelf.com. Every week she answers your questions, interviews inspiring experts, and brings you new ideas to help you create the Love, Happiness and Success that you deserve.
 
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show series
 
What hopes and dreams do you have for your kids? Do you want them to do well in school? Have good friends who love and support them? Build a successful career doing what they love? Find a healthy, loving relationship some day and start a family of their own? As both a marriage and family therapist and a parent myself, I can tell you that these are …
 
We have all been there… witnessing our Ex move on without us. As both a therapist and breakup recovery coach who has walked with many people through the breakup recovery process, as well as a fellow human, I know that if you’re in the early stages of getting over a breakup or recovering after divorce, it can feel like a flaming knife is stabbing yo…
 
“I want a divorce.” It’s one of the most alarming sentences a married person can hear. And — in one way or another — it means that your marriage is about to change. But it doesn’t always mean that your marriage is about to end. When your spouse asks you for a divorce, it breaks one of two ways: it either leads to a “transformational crisis” where c…
 
Is untreated ADHD causing trouble in your relationship? “My partner doesn’t listen to me. He agrees to do something, and then he ‘forgets.’ I feel like he just doesn’t care. He didn’t even bother to get me a card for our anniversary…” Sound familiar? Many couples arrive in counseling with a list of issues like these, and no awareness of one likely …
 
Are there emotional vampires lurking all around you? Unfortunately, this isn’t a problem you can solve with a garlic necklace or some holy water. An “emotional vampire” (or “energy vampire”) is a very unscientific term for a person who stirs up strong emotional reactions in others — like anger, pity, discomfort, or annoyance. Not only do they not t…
 
Learning how to face your fears productively can give you clarity, direction, and — ironically — peace of mind. No one likes to feel afraid, but fear can be a powerful tool for living the life you want to live. Fear will alert you when you’re not living in alignment with your goals and your values. If you can face your fear and take wisdom from it,…
 
Red flags in relationships aren’t always easy to spot. Even when we do pick up on them, they can be easy to dismiss. If you’re a hopeful, optimistic, generous person, you’re probably pretty good at making excuses for questionable behavior from others, and at thinking of opportunities to improve difficult situations when it would really be in your b…
 
Over the past few decades, we’ve made some huge strides toward building equality in our relationships. It’s no longer rare for a woman to be her family’s primary breadwinner, or to see a dad perusing the produce aisle with a Baby Bjorn strapped to his chest. Yet, for many couples who arrive in couples counseling or relationship coaching, the divisi…
 
When you become a step-parent, you’re walking into a tricky situation. You may have the warmest feelings for your step-kids and a heartfelt desire to be a positive figure in their lives, and still find yourself thrust into the role of “wicked step-mother” (or step-father), with the pain of their parents’ broken marriage heaped onto your back… while…
 
What is your apology language? And, more importantly… what’s your partner’s? As an experienced marriage counselor and couples therapist, I know that apologizing is an essential skill for healthy relationships. But not all apologies are created equal. Just as partners must learn to speak each other’s love languages to help each other feel cared for,…
 
On today’s episode of the podcast, we’re covering a topic that doesn’t get nearly the attention it deserves: the unique challenges of maintaining a relationship when you or your partner are members of the military, and how you can keep your military relationship healthy and strong. If you or your partner (or both of you!) are service members, you k…
 
Discovering that your partner has cheated is one of the most painful experiences anyone can have. It’s a form of relational trauma that leaves you hurting and mistrustful, long after the affair has ended. Healing from this form of betrayal is a difficult process that takes many months or even years. But the partner who cheated has their own healing…
 
When you’re crushing on somebody, you’re not dreaming about how supportive they’d be if your mother was in the hospital, or how adept they’ll be at receiving your feedback in the midst of a furious argument. No — you’re much too focused on how cute their eyes look when they smile, or how nice they smell. That’s because we’re attracted to people bas…
 
It’s no secret that good communication is the key ingredient to a healthy relationship. But, as we all know, couples communication can be challenging — especially when you're under stress. When you and your partner are under stress, communication gets hard. It’s so easy to forget everything you know about active listening and “I-statements” when yo…
 
All couples have differences, and having “spirited conversations” (aka, “conflict”) as you work towards resolving them is a normal part of every healthy relationship. That said, there are certain types of relationship conflict and emotional experiences that you should never minimize, or underestimate the importance of. These are the warning signs y…
 
Is it hard for you to trust your partner, or feel secure with them? If you've ever caught yourself double checking them (and then wondering to yourself, "Do I have trust issues?") this podcast is for you. We're talking about what trust issues are (and what they are not), signs of trust issues, what causes trust issues, how unresolved trust issues d…
 
Are you in a codependent relationship? If so you're probably feeling anxious, frustrated, and exhausted from trying to create positive change in your relationship single-handedly. (Or feeling like you're never quite good enough to meet the standards of your partner). Not fun for anyone! On today's episode, we're taking a deep dive into codependent …
 
Managing Up for Career Success Have you ever worked in a truly terrible environment? Think back to that job now. What made it so bad? If you’re like most people, the difference between a great job and a horrible job doesn’t have all that much to do with the work itself. Instead, it usually comes down to your relationships with your coworkers — and …
 
No matter how secure your relationship is otherwise, it hurts when you feel sexually rejected by your partner. That’s because sexuality is vulnerable and often bound up with our feelings of love, and worthiness — particularly if one of your top love languages is physical touch. Every long-term relationship involves some ebbs and flows in sexual des…
 
People often wonder, “Is jealousy healthy in a relationship?” Here’s the short answer: It depends. Jealousy can be healthy when it signals that it’s time to draw your partner close in response to a real or imagined threat. This is a good thing that helps preserve and strengthen your relationship — but only if you’re able to handle jealousy in a sel…
 
“Believe in yourself” is more than a soundbite. It’s a necessary ingredient in a happy, self-directed life. It’s also easier said than done. If you (like basically everyone) have internal narratives about the things you can’t do or changes you can’t make, you’re going to need more than a pep talk or some positive affirmations to shake those narrati…
 
Eating is one of the most basic ways we care for ourselves every day. But having an unhealthy relationship with food can leave you feeling stressed, emotionally drained, and bad about yourself, rather than nourished, energized and empowered. Unfortunately, many of us have a fraught relationship with food. Emotional eating, shame, and anxiety around…
 
Are we a good fit? Do we have enough in common? Is my partner really “The One?” Personality type compatibility in relationships isn’t about being alike or agreeing on everything — it’s about learning to understand your differences and use them for the benefit of each other and the relationship. In today's episode, you’ll learn all about what really…
 
We all dream of having a close, connected relationship that fulfills us on every level. If you're feeling lonely in a relationship, it hurts. It can be hard to know how to reconnect, especially if the distance has been growing for a while — or if negativity has crept in. Deep connection is created through the intentional cultivation of emotional in…
 
Dealing with control freaks is aggravating, but when you know what’s behind it, it’s easier to have understanding and empathy for them — and also create healthier boundaries for yourself. In this episode, you'll learn all about the psychology of the control freak: What drives their behavior, and how you can maintain a relationship with the control …
 
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