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In the first episode of our new podcast: When Xi Jinping and Vladimir Putin visited Central Asia this week, it was clear the Chinese president held the upper hand. Xi made a strong statement of support for Kazakh territorial integrity and sovereignty, while Russia's leader struggled to explain his faltering war in Ukraine. It was a watershed moveme…
 
Soothing music time approaches. It means you’re about to play a game. A Genshin game, maybe. You feel at peace with the world. All is well. The bridge is being made as you walk towards your 10-pull of anime husbandos and waifus. But a thought crosses your mind: Where is Boston, really? Is it like… North? North-ish? Somewhere up there. You think abo…
 
Over Mitts. . Truly, a work everyone will understand. Soon, you will too. Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is ready to sit down and watch some shows on the hot new platform Netflix. John Hurst is your co-host this week and he is impossible to stop on the Top 100 baby names lists. Download Link. Ask us questions at questions@videodeathl…
 
Shaq goes out onto the ice, slipping on his curling shoes and sliding out to eruptious applause. Pepsi has abandoned him, but none of these fans will. They know his ability to throw the rock, to hurry hard into the goal; Charles Barkley agrees. There is only one obstacle between him and Olympic glory: A pair of very comfortable shorts. You need pan…
 
Kielbasa! Kielbasa subs everywhere! There’s a party at the Subway Sandwich Shop and you’re not invited because the fire marshal is full enforcement. He lost all his mutant powers during the House of M story arc so he has to use words and pleads for people to not make places into a fire hazard for the Kielbasa Sub from Subway. He wants a taste of th…
 
Michael Bolton does the same thing every day. He wakes up in an exotic location of his own choosing. It’s always a different exotic location. He wanders to his boat, powered by shadowy drivers and crooning, and they go exploring, presumably looking for ladies or abandoned boats or something. Then he goes home and has 800,000 more dollars from the c…
 
This is your brain. This is your brain smashing a pan on things. It feels pretty nice, doesn’t it? Fun even. They don’t need that set after they’re done. They’re going to burn it down. Not even for insurance! Not even for pleasure! They just do it. And then you’re going to go voice act as Tifa Lockhart (Sometimes) like Rachel Leigh Cook does here. …
 
Join the latest craze: The internet! From America! Specifically, the Online portion of America. Sit in your Office and browse your Sports without having to open up a paper! It’s all virtual, baby! Your can order more khakis now from your home! The wrong sort of khakis! The type you have to adjust all the time! Isn’t that great? They go so well with…
 
Look, it’s right there on the tin. This rat spins horizontally. You want vertical? That doesn’t sound nearly as good. They have that too. But we like this one. We’re fans of the traditional, horizontally spinning rat values here… AND we have various opinions on crackers. That’s who we are at Video Death Loop. Now make sure to complete your sex debt…
 
Ah! After six seasons, we have finally done it! (We are not finally free, we are still doing this. We are trapped in our own prison.) We’ve done the Power Rangers opening! This feels like a thing we should have probably got out of the way in Season 1 or something, right? But we didn’t. We did VR Troopers instead, because that’s how we are (Vee-Arr)…
 
Donkey Kong is trapped. Make no bones about it. The jungle is his hell and he is forced to endure it. His captors: Funky Kong, a Kong that is so funky it does not register on the funkotronic scale, and Diddy Kong, a hellspawn designed by Satan’s intern. Together, they control everything Donkey Kong sees and does. Go on a treasure hunt, Donkey Kong.…
 
It’s 1995. You have found the end of Dollywood. It’s in the woods! Why is it in the woods! You don’t know. You just know it’s looking less like a theme park and more…. Wood-like. There’s an Eagle Sanctuary nearby that says Dollywood and the ride has the Butterfly logo on it, but is that enough to trust it? You think quietly for a moment and think “…
 
It’s AMERICA’S GAME! Accept it! Accept its place in the heart of America! Specifically three contestants at a time who can win fabulous prizes! Spin the wheel! Feel valued! Lose it all and start all over again! It’s Wheel of Fortune! What, you think you have to try?! This ain’t Jeopardy! Just say a letter! If it’s a vowel, we make you pay for it! I…
 
Chicago! Line on up! Come get your slam dunked submarine sandwich, made specially by the Chicago Bulls! Small Forward Scottie Pippen is making them hot off the basket! Mystical sandwich powers can be a curse, but the Bulls make the curse look so very good! Even better than a newspaper from the future? Well, that’s up for debate. It’s kind of like t…
 
Snowman are cute until you realize they have teeth. They don’t teach that in science and biology. Not because they don’t want you to know but because you have to find out the horrifying truth for yourself. Every person has to come across that, much like you on the highway trying to find any sort of liquid to parch your throat. You have teeth. They …
 
20 yards away there is a bear. It’s running at you. You’re not sure though. You need to use math and you’re math, for lack of a better word, is faulty. You got your bear spray with you and you’re not afraid to use it. You just want to make sure you’re not wasting it. The bear would not appreciate you wasting it. You certainly don’t to waste it in c…
 
Look up at the sky! It’s a UFO! Television Opening! Fromm the 70s! Several groups of people in several environments are on the case! Maybe. They’re looking like they are, save for the Sub crew. They’re ready for local goth night on the submarine. You can’t escape goth night, Gary! You gotta listen to Bauhaus and fight aliens with us! There’s no oth…
 
Behold! A Nintendo! At your local mega toy store, even! Does that other store have? We say nay! Don’t even look in that trash fire they call a “shoppe”. We know they don’t have it because we of Toys R’ Us say they don’t! We made the deal with Nintendo! It’s our stock! You can’t have it! Unless you want to buy it from us? Then, okay. Maybe we can co…
 
Freeze, kids! Don’t you move! This is an emergency! A food emergency! We gotta get you the most non-food content your body can technically digest! Here, suck on this hose full of cheese! Then eat the fruit roll up and corn! Your body will eventually make something that resembles nutrition, but for the sake of all that is Holy, you cannot move. And …
 
The 90s were a time. Some humans experienced it and it was okay! Other humans did not and that is okay too. Just know that during that time we had a song by Rednex blaming a Cotton-Eye Joe for not being married some long time ago. The good news is that the 00’s also could experience their dismay towards Cotton-Eye Joe, as long as they were inside a…
 
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~~OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO– Aaron Littleton is your host and he’s getting drunk off news gift chocolate liquers. John Hurst is…
 
Hey everyone! Do you have your copy of Mortal Kombat 3 yet? How about the movie? The action figure? The animated direct-to-video show? The stage show? The cookbook? Well, come with us to E3 1995 and be Hype(tm) for Content(tm)! We have all the content! What’s the internet? We barely know about it! It might not even be that big of a deal! Buy our st…
 
Ah, yes, the woods! Where nature and vampires co-exist as one. Humans may think they control the earth, but no sirree bob! Only a vampire knows the hard work you have to put into the earth. Raising raccoons, shrinking horses, spending an inordinate amount of time in the outhouse. Yes, we vampires know the earth better than we know ourselves. Why, w…
 
Behold! Look upon your trash bags and despair at their quality! They are not Hefty brand trashbags so they are INFERIOIR in the eyes of God and all that he holds before him as good and pure. You will not be chosen in the rapture. Nay, he will clean you up in his Hefty-branded trash bag and throw you in the bowels of hell themselves. There, you will…
 
Gather your teen pop posse and dance a closely-knit jig, because it’s time for witchery to begin. We have one single target: A single boy in a field of flowers. The goal: throw him into the minivan. Most importantly, do not ask or answer questions. If someone asks if you are the Irish pop group B*Witched (with a star in the middle) you say “Yes” bu…
 
Donnie Yen! You get off this car this instance! You don’t know where it’s been! I leave you alone for two minutes and you’re breakdancing all over the city like the opening to some Hong Kong film! Slapping stickers all over yourself like you are sponsored and warming up hot dogs in your pants? What will the people say? … Other than that you’re supe…
 
The Classic Rock station is on. You don’t know why it’s on. You didn’t turn to it. You thought you were listening to your Bluetooth phone. but it’s there and it’s playing Creed. That Creed song. The song that takes you higher. You start wondering where the time went. Where your friends are. Hey, look at this photograph. No, wait, wrong song. “Highe…
 
Maritime Law is NOW. Come aboard the cruise ship! Kathy Lee Gifford is here to show you the way! Sneak on some alcohol and buy their expensive alcohol too! Become a goblin! Celebrate the purge! Drink in a Frog Bar… Thing? We don’t know what that is or what you do on a cruise ship but we know what we’re going to do as soon as we are forced on one! A…
 
Attention, Spacemart Shoppers! We know we could just give you a text notification into your intellivisor, but we feel the bitcrushed tone of the personal announcement system just has that special touch, you know? We hope you’re enjoying your fabulous new virtual reality shopping experience like we are recreating it! We just released the latest vers…
 
It’s 9:28 AM in Colorado Springs. There is chance of isolated thunderstorms in your neck of the woods. But it’s alright. You’re at home, your belt is off, the fireplace is not on (Because it’s nearly 80 degrees and that seems unwise) and you have the mood lighting all set to low, low, low. You got yourself a hot date between you, a special lady fri…
 
Melissa is calling again. She wants to talk. It’s too much. The older boy can’t handle it. His weekly paycheck at the Kum & Go gas station is going straight to bathroom cleaning products. The younger brother is scrubbing away every night making sure the bathroom shines before Melissa inevitably calls again. He doesn’t see the same bald man giving h…
 
ARE. YOU. READY TO. GO?! CAUSE. I’M READY. TO GO! ARF. ARF ARF ARF. ARF ARF!? BABY, BABY! Powerman 5000! 5000 men of power! Colliding worlds! Wearing goggles! Getting stuck with powers beyond their control to fight the evil who is stopping their concert! It’s all very Ultra Mega. Nowadays, to get that Ultra Mega you just have to go to a one of the …
 
Here in the year Two Thousand and Twenty Two, we at Video Death Loop can never be as cool as people who wreck cars for Hollywood. We especially wouldn’t want to get in the way of those who wrecked Jeeps for the A-Team back in the day, because we’re pretty sure they could still wreck us. We don’t want to run into them in the grocery store and they f…
 
Warning! This animation is not for kids! It’s literally what every anime commercial in the 90s did and Columbia House was no exception! Stick that “NOT FOR KIDS” sticker on the front and let’s watch some exploding heads! Mileage may vary. Shipping will definitely vary. But you will at least get Akira on VHS and that’s pretty good! Just be careful o…
 
Do you remember the radio, the thing you would you to listen to music that you now listen to podcasts on? Do you remember news radio, the thing you would listen to that was also not podcast and was more focused on our grim reality? How about Newsradio, the comedy show about being on the news and also about radio? We don’t! We don’t remember a thing…
 
IT’S BISCUIT TIME at Tudor’s Biscuit World, which promises to you a world of biscuits (as long as you are getting biscuits in West Virginia.) They have them all! The biscuits you think about! The ones you don’t! Some that are named after people? Why are they named after people? Are they people? No, let’s step back on that. Maybe we are being a litt…
 
Can we offer you a broken roomba repair video in this trying time? The mole people don’t need one, something about floors already being made of dirt and no eyes to see it. The robots don’t need one because they are SO perfect anyway. So I guess we gotta give it to humans. Come, let us watch it on loop and learn nothing about robotic maintenance! Aa…
 
Sure, you can be edgy, but what happens when you add bullets to the edge? Faster edges. Faster than Microsoft Edge. Faster than Final Fantasy IV Edge. Faster than whatever else is Edge-related that I can say. You guffaw at the Gunblade from FF8 but let’s be honest: You’d definitely fire one if someone presented it to you to try out. You might even …
 
Ducks, man. Ducks love some peas. They love them more than I think I love any actual food as a human, if this video is any proof. We here at Video Death Loop are both in awe and terrfied of the ability of a duck to tear through and muddy up a bowl that once had peas in it even when they seem to be perfefctly clean. Where did the dirt come from? Is …
 
There’s a Starman in a Pixar trailer this time. He is currently waiting in the sky. He’d like to come and meet us, but Aaron said to dare let him try! It’s just as well, honestly. It gives the starman (Perhaps the Lightyear, as seen above) more time to think about far more important things. Like cake. God, cake is good. You can’t bring cake with yo…
 
What is the best part of waking up? Is it actually successfully waking up, realizing you escaped the clutches of death for at least one more night? Is it the toast from the toaster and/or toaster oven and/or oven wafting through the house? Is it the coffee jingle? Maybe. We are forgetful in our modern age and no longer thank life for the gifts it h…
 
Sing it with me, everyone! Salad Shooooooter! Sing it from the top of your lungs into our ears, preferably while you’re making a salad with the toppings of a sald! Get a corded one! Get a cordless one while you’re at it! Use them all Salad Akimbo! Make your co-workers worry at the next potluck from all these casserole style dishes! Forget about it …
 
Cellular DNA. Mobile Phone RNA. Landline Mitochondria. It’s all connected, man. It’s all making energy with us because it is us. Until it isn’t. Then it decides to take us to a nice night to the opera and set us on fire. That seems a little petty, honestly. It could have talked it through with us and we work together become a hideous malformed evil…
 
SUBMIT TO THE DANCE. Enjoy it. Learn to live with it. Enjoy the 24 hour support, 365 days of the week. Ignore the fact that they’re genetically engineered for maximum advertising, these tiny mice. Ignore the cat in the corner that they use to make sure they do their job as efficiently as possible. Ignore the master technician mouse, designing compu…
 
You knew it was only time before we put a death loop within video death loop. It’s recursion, baby! We’re with it and within it too! You can use that in your next Programming 101 class, professors. And skateboarders too if you’re really into recursion. Maybe other podcasters too. This is now a recursion podcast. Anyway, instead of talking about the…
 
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