Shawna Scafe, Your Nerdy Girlfriend and Life Coach public
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When the clutter, motherhood, relationships, and life seem too overwhelming. When you have resentment and frustration every day – this is a sign you have been living on auto-pilot- letting life happen to you instead of living it ON PURPOSE. I’ve been there. Three kids under 4 and I decided to declutter my home and realized I was living my whole life on autopilot. I wanted more. I wanted to take action, be more present, have more fun! Enjoy my kids! I’m Shawna, You might know me as your Nerdy ...
 
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The new year brings a lot of thought to the goals and habits we want to have. I have a new tool for you to try if you are feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with all the work that goes into creating new habits and stopping ‘bad habits’. This is called habit refinement. A new tool to try for making habit change With this tool, we do a habit audit to…
 
How do you want to spend your time? Your energy? Your space and money? When you decide in line with your values you will feel intentional and purposeful with all your little and big decisions. Knowing your personal values helps you learn more about what matters to you, how you want to show up and how to make confident choices in your day and life. …
 
Family traditions are something we often think about as we start having kids. Many of us are looking for traditions to bring into our holidays that help us make memories with our kids. Sometimes we even feel an urgency to find the ‘right ones, right now’. As we start to incorporate these new tradition ideas, sometimes they don’t always work. But he…
 
Would you like to be more intentional with how you use your phone? Do you want to set boundaries and take back control of what your relationship with your phone looks like? In this episode, I have tips on how to do all of this, and I share my own personal phone boundaries that you might like to try too. Make sure to get the worksheets to help you c…
 
I get messages from moms, and coach women who feel like they are addicted to their phones. They share how it pulls them out of their presence with their kids and their lives. It sucks up their time and they feel like they never have enough time. It draws in their attention and they are scrolling social media that does NOT make them feel any better …
 
I knew I had to share this episode as I heard more and more coaching clients tell me how much they appreciated hearing me say that I don’t always enjoy my kids, that I was a mom martyr, that pregnancy was hard. I keep hearing how much it matters to hear that they aren’t alone in these struggles of motherhood. In this episode I am talking about: Fee…
 
We hear a lot about the mental burden that moms carry. We have so many things on our minds about all the people and all the things that need to happen PLUS all the things we want to be doing for ourselves too. It is a weighty mental load that we are carrying around. I want to talk about a concept that will help you see some ways you can lighten thi…
 
There is a type of clutter we ALL have in our home. It is identity clutter – you know those items that for someone we are not – but rather for different versions of ourselves: our past self, our aspirational self, our socially-compliant self, and our test self. I walk you through these four types of identity clutter, how they challenge our sense of…
 
We all feel this sense of ‘ideal self’ that we want to be moving towards. It is safe to assume a lot of us desire some change on some level in some area of our lives. But we need to consider what change will cost us. We can’t ever change if we aren’t willing to make some kind of investment in it. Seeing where we need to make an INVESTMENT in the ch…
 
Feel like you are shopping too much? Want to bring a minimalist approach and mindset into how you shop? Every season we seem to be bombarded with the latest fashion trends – a marketing strategy that fast fashion uses to get us to keep buying all the latest colours and patterns. I know I feel like I need to buy a new wardrobe each season and need t…
 
I challenged you to get uncomfortable this week. Now I want to dig into doing simple things that serve a bigger purpose. Giving your discomfort a purpose to work towards the vision and goals you have for your life. I want to break it down, keep it simple, and encourage you to drop your all-or-nothing mindset. This past weekend I did another Abundan…
 
I love comfort (#typeninevibes) and I know that a lot of my comfort-seeking is more the AVOIDANCE of discomfort. I don't want to be uncomfortable. What things make you uncomfortable?For me they have been things like: Taking my small kids out in public Working on the conflicts in my marriage Exercise Getting up in the mornings Doing dishes Declutter…
 
Looking for ways to have more fun in motherhood and BE more fun as a mom? I have asked myself this question too. Inside of our FB Group - Simple on Purpose Community, there comes a great question. The question was in essence, I can DO fun things with my kids, take them to swim, skate, and stuff, but how do I HAVE fun with my kids? How do I BE fun? …
 
It’s back to school time! Are you ready?I know we have been enjoying the slow pace of summer and will need to put ourselves back on schedule to make back to school run more smoothly. Over the years we have developed routines that we rely on in our school and workweek. I want to share our three favourites with you as you think about how you want to …
 
How did your summer go? Anything you wish you that you did more of or less of?Today I have a PROMPT episode for you - where I will prompt you through some helpful questions that I hope will help you live more intentionally. Specifically, having a summer on PURPOSE. So let's take a minute to stop and reflect on the ways you want to improve next summ…
 
Procrastination is an avoidant strategy and there are so many layers to it, why we do it, how to redirect it, how to accept it, and so on. It is also something almost everyone does and something that can cause a lot of shame, especially for moms What is procrastination?It is putting something off for later. We all do it, everday. We put off phone c…
 
When an actor is typecast, they are locked into being cast for a certain TYPE of character, always a version of the same thing. And as parents, we can typecast our own kids. We give them labels on what they are - difficult, athletic, flighty, dramatic. We can also give them seemingly positive labels - like smart, pretty, nice - and those can have i…
 
I have been researching goals and habits since we started setting them in 2015. You can hear Conor share his take on doing this work as a couple in this episode. Over the years I have searched to the ends of Pinterest and tried a lot of strategies to create habits for myself.I was doing this work fueled by the notion that I had to become a morning …
 
Andrea is a Registered Dietician who is here to talk with me about our relationship to food and teaching our kids a healthy relationship with foodI also had a secret motive in asking her on because I had questions about how to handle food with my kids. I know I’m undoing a lot of cultured rules, how I was raised, my own biases, and I want to be min…
 
This is a Q+A episode featuring questions from the Simple Squad (the Simple on Purpose Facebook Community). We are talking about feelings, marriage, seasons of life, parenting and family chores.These answers are coming at you from my life coaching point of view. I am a mom of three kids, trained Life Coach, practical minimalist, and I help moms wit…
 
Expectation overwhelm is when you have a to-do list that is so long that it overwhelms you. This starts a defeating cycle of hustling, beating ourselves up for not doing 'enough', and not really feeling empowered to live a life of purpose. Feeling productive and the beliefs we have about how we spend our timeCoach women a lot on productivity and pr…
 
Do you struggle in your relationship to getting dressed each day? Do you feel guilty for it, or lack confidence in it? Jaime McLaughlin is a hair and make-up artist who is helping moms take care of themselves without the mom guilt. In this episode we talk about the internal shifts we can make, the judgments we might have of ourselves and other moms…
 
When we think about being home with the kids for the summer there can be a lot to dread AND be excited about in this season. I have found my way out of that mental overwhelm is to make a plan on what what I DO want my summer to be. Over the years of planning our seasons as a family, we have developed an approach that helps us stay flexible, work ar…
 
As moms who want to have hobbies and do things they love we get bogged down with notions that we have to monetize our hobby, or that we have to be exceptional at it. We almost use these as measurements to determine if this hobby is 'worth it' in the time, energy, and money it could involve. I want to pitch the Joy of Being Mediocre and how it can u…
 
Do you wish you made time for the things you enjoy? Maybe you aren't sure what hobbies you would like, or you think you aren't 'creative enough' to have hobbies. I have encouragement for the mom who feels guilty that she doesn't enjoy her time, but also feels guilty when she isn't 'productive enough' Siobhan Johnes from the Unlocked Creative is sha…
 
This is not the house I would have chosen to be my forever home, but over the years I have come to terms with us staying here - but how to reconcile with the dissatisfaction of this home not being exactly what I want. Acknowledging our home dissatisfaction Recognizing that deep desire to create a space that FEELS like home Addressing the longing we…
 
This is the LIVE recording from a Facebook Live held earlier today in the Simple on Purpose Community groupI am answering FAQs and addressing the myths we might have about emotional intelligence and emotion coaching our kids. I have been emotion coaching my kids for years now and I have noticed such a huge difference in my own relationship to my em…
 
Health class may of taught us about anatomy, maybe our moms taught us about how to manage a period (but if you are like me, you just figured it out on your own reading the pamphlets in confusion and piecing together crumbs from Seventeen magazine).And then we start going through life, having babies, experiencing postpartum, living momlife and we re…
 
As we talked a lot about emotional intelligence, I want to move over to the physical side of emotional awareness. So often we just ignore our bodies and treat them as something that slows us down - but I've learned through experience, health problems, and researching the SCIENCE that listening to our bodies is vital. It helps us have a better aware…
 
I have had some great questions on how to teach our kids emotional intelligence - and I will answer them in this episode. I will also run through the 5 steps I use (and learned from John Gottman) on how to walk our kids through their emotions and misbehaviours - also called emotion coaching. This episode follows up on 119, about tolerating the emot…
 
I want to run through the steps of teaching your kids emotional intelligence. And to lay the groundwork for that, let's take a minute to explore our relationship to uncomfortable emotions. We are conditioned to view certain emotions as acceptable and unacceptable - and this causes us to have a low tolerance for these emotions that show up in oursel…
 
There is an emotional experience of motherhood that can feel dark, angry, exhausting, hopeless. Some of us even experience postpartum depression or other hormonal imbalances that impact our emotional experience. Is joy still available to us in these really tough times? Does joy mean I'm always happy? Does joy mean it comes easy? Can I find joy in t…
 
What does it mean to be 'Emotionally Intelligent'? How can this help you in motherhood and your life?I'm sharing the basics of Emotional Intelligence (aka EQ) and giving you my take on where each Enneagram Type can develop and round out their EQThe basics of emotional intelligenceIn a nutshell, EQ is being aware of feelings and managing those feeli…
 
This is a bit different of an episode - it is a FUN episode!It is OUR episode - the one where I tell you what is happening behind the scenes and tell you what the reader/listener feedback survey revealed.What I heard from you: Episodes that have helped you Identity Clutter Being a Mom Martyr Who is listening The topics you love to hear about Yes, w…
 
I was a controlling mom. I turned on the NO switch and said no to my kids, to my husband, to myself. But this need to control everything came from one very specific belief I had about myself: that I was not a capable mom (or a capable person, for the most part)We all like the feeling of being in control, but it can lead us to act in ways we don't l…
 
What it means to be a mom on purpose - and it is not about having happy, obedient kids. It is actually about being a mom on purpose when our kids are NOT happy or obedient, or when life feels hard and we aren't feeling happy. Dealing with Automatic Negative ThoughtsComing off a couple of weeks of feeling like I was hitting a wall and spiralling to …
 
There is a quote 'don't just survive in motherhood, thrive in it'When I first heard this quote I really hated it. I was home with three kids under four and very aware of how I was NOT thriving and felt like I wasn't even surviving. I resented this notion I had to be thriving. What I thought thriving in motherhood had to look like cute home, always …
 
Today I a sharing a shift I have made in my parenting that has made such a big difference - when I teach it to my coaching clients they have an 'aha moment' too - because we might not see that we are often parenting the wrong issue. (Books or products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I will…
 
Making decisions on what to declutter can be exhausting and often bring up emotions like guilt. I am offering my life coaching and decluttering advice on these topics as well as organizing and cleaning kid's toys. Listen to the previous Q+A hereQuestions I am answering on decluttering: How to know what to get rid of? With each thing I'm asking why …
 
A popular topic I life coach moms on is their relationship to their stuff and decluttering their home. I wanted to share a Q+A time for more questions about decluttering. I asked for your decluttering questions in the Simple on Purpose FB group and on Instagram. Here is my life coaching advice on these topics. Here are the decluttering questions I …
 
Elyse is a mom of three in Australia and she has a heart for helping moms make things simpler in their lives. I asked her to come and share with us what her decluttering experience was like. In this conversation, you will hear Elyse unpack what prompted her to declutter her home, what she has learned from it and the encouragement and practical tips…
 
This is the final part of the coaching session with Laura, the mom of a 4-year-old and 1.5 year old .In this part of the coaching call, we wrap up with how to take ACTION that moves her in the direction she wants to go as a mom. She is getting anchored in what she wants out of motherhood (joy), and making a plan on how she wants to get it. If you h…
 
This is part 2 of my life coaching call with Laura. We are continuing the conversation with an exploration of what values she wants to bring into her parenting. This portion of the coaching session was getting clarity on WHERE Laura wants to go as a mom, what it looks like for her to be a mom on purpose. Head on over and catch part 1 right here. Va…
 
This is a Coaching Session I had with Laura, who is looking for coaching support on dealing with jealousy of when her kids prefer her husband to her - and with setting up a motherhood mantra for herself to anchor herself in motherhood. I have divided this coaching session into three episodes. In this first one, we cover awareness. We work on identi…
 
There have been a lot of changes I wanted to make in my life, but I didn't trust myself to follow through and do them. So I stopped setting goals and making promises to myself. This is something I have bee through and coach many women on - the issue of not trusting yourself creates a situation where you don't believe you CAN do it, you stop looking…
 
How should a 30 something-year-old dress?I have asked this question for some years as I decluttered my closet and focussed on creating a closet of clothes I love to wear. I don’t want it to be the latest trends, but the clothes I enjoy and feel like ‘me’.I’m not a fashion blogger but when the memes went around this month making fun of millennial mo…
 
We all can think of some financial goals we want to meet (debt-repayment, emergency savings) and maybe we know what habits could get us there - but DOING it is the hard work. And I find it so helpful to hear what other people are doing and what it looks like in action in real life. Today I'm sharing the rest of my conversation with Bethany and Core…
 
Wonder what it would be like to make a BIG CHANGE that starts your debt-free journey? Today we are hearing from Bethany and Corey on their story of what that looked like in their life. When they decide to give up the 'good life' for the 'better life' and by better I mean hard and uncomfortable but moving towards financial freedom. I love hearing re…
 
Today I'm sharing some of a LIVE Q+A I did in FB community last monthA few times each month I ask for questions and sometimes on a certain topic, then I come on and answer them liveIn this Q+A I am answering questions about putting your head in the sand, planning your day, finding the time when you feel like it is hard to find the time, and how muc…
 
We did it friends! I am proud of us! We finished the Enneagram and Motherhood series featuring moms from all over the continent sharing what it is like to parent through the lens of their Enneagram type. Today we wrap up with the Type 9, which we all know they don't mind being left to the last ("it's fine, whatever works for you!") I say that becau…
 
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