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Can You Don't?

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Can You Don't?

Joe Paisley and Bryan Albrandt

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Can You Don't? is a weekly, comedic podcast where Joe Paisley and Bryan Albrandt delve into the depths of the Internet in order to retrieve the best and worst examples of humanity, while openly mocking themselves along the way for being complete idiots.
 
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*** FREE PATREON BONUS CONTENT PREVIEW*** Give it a listen! And we hope you'll consider supporting the show on Patreon! http://patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It w…
 
Is there any amount of money you would accept in exchange for having birds constantly try to land on you? Let's talk about that, Bryan's dad hiding batteries everywhere he possibly could, Joe's dad making the entire family sleep outside in the winter, hiding snacks from your partner, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become p…
 
Can you ride a unicycle? If yes, would you consider riding it over 1,800 miles along the entire eastern seaboard?! Let's talk about that, fishing for things inside your vagina, tying tiny backpacks full of meth to pigeons attempting to smuggle drugs into prison, one of the weirdest cashier experiences of all time, and more on today's episode of Can…
 
How mad do you get when playing video games online? Ever thrown you controller off a balcony into the street? haha... let's talk about that, why Joe hates banks so much, getting insanely pissed that an ambulance is parked in the bike lane, what happens when you slow down Alvin and the Chipmunks, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wa…
 
What if you found out the person that had been cyberbullying you and your friends for YEARS was actually your own mother?! Let's talk about that, only being able to orgasm after hearing bad news, printing your own face on a potato, why are sleeping bag storage bags so Goddamn small, and more on today's episode of Can You Dont?! *** Wanna become par…
 
Last episode of 2022, coming in HOT! Let's talk about that, having flaccid teeth that only get hard when you're hungry, getting cum on your aunt's hoodie, why do certain businesses feel it's necessary to send out year end emails, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on t…
 
Have you ever stopped and truly thought about how creepy the concept of Santa really is?! It's insane. Let's talk about that, getting pubes stuck to your face, a toilet that either hates or loves you pooping in it, pumping 69 babies out of your vagina, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all…
 
Can you imagine reaching a stage in your life where you're totally cool with unplugging someone's oxygen breathing machine because the noise was bugging you? Let's talk about that, everyone in the world being way happier than you, bringing your dead dog into an Olive Garden, the stupid shit we all did as kids, and more on today's episode of Can You…
 
What's the deal with fingerless gloves? Do you want your hands to be warm OR NOT?! Let's talk about that, a lady getting away with straight up punching a baby, selling your roommate's car without his permission, getting a nice spanking after each time you sneeze, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and…
 
What would you do if your doctor informed you that you're going to die, but then hired a barbershop quartet to explain all the details? Let's talk about that, lopping off someone's appendage without their consent, a happy ending to a doggie pane crash, pranking your loved ones on Christmas, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna b…
 
Did you think you could clinch your butthole hard enough around some anal beds to stop yourself from falling to your death? Let's talk about that, an underwater museum that we had no idea existed, a lady using bees as an attack animal, accidentally coating your own sunglasses in semen, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't? *** Wanna become …
 
When's the last time your girlfriend's mom invited you to suck whipped cream off her toes? Never? Right. Let's talk about that, having to flip a coin to make any decision, sticking your peen in a hot cup of coffee, being able to smell Parkinson's disease, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle?! Our Patre…
 
What would you do if you woke up one day, looked outside, and someone had set up an entire yard sale in your lawn selling none of your items? Let's talk about that, hitting 5th graders in the head with a baseball bat, headlights for your Crocs, being run over multiple times by the same car, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna b…
 
How frustrating would it be to call 911 and have to navigate robotic menu options in order to get the help you need? haha let's talk about that, throwing your own son under the bus to save face, barking like a dog at other people's kids, pushing old people over, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle?! Ou…
 
This is the only time of the year you get to potentially see Yoshi beating the crap out of a vampire. And there's something special about that opportunity. Let's talk about that, accidentally inviting all of Hell into your home, doing a half-ass job at taking out the trash, having sex in a Gravitron, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *…
 
Remember that one time you were showing your friend pictures of your car on your phone but he kept scrolling and then unknowingly called you super sexy because of a different picture he saw? Let's talk about that, revenge among siblings, everything you touch always being just a little sticky, where to buy dried out beaver balls, and more on today's…
 
Imagine a world full of food delivery robots... however, they always fall over and scream for "HELP!" all day long. Sounds so peaceful. Let's talk about that, the Mariners finally making it to the post season for the first time since dinosaurs were alive, yeeting your baby into the grill of a truck, singing John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt while mas…
 
Remember that time you accidentally packed your super illegal switchblade into your backpack and attempted to go through airport security? Whoops. Let's talk about that, getting hit by a train while being detained in a cop car, leaving bags of poop on your ex's tombstone, getting trapped in a room with one person for 30 years, and more on today's e…
 
Have you ever wondered if cavemen used smoke signals to make booty calls? Let's talk about that, some dirty secrets from listeners with our first confessions segment, Bryan's sad childhood with no chocolate calendars, trying to fall asleep while your house is on fire, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggl…
 
Remember that time you were lost in the Colorado wilderness and a helicopter crew that was out looking for you almost didn't stop because they thought you were just saying hi? Let's talk about that, why a uniform makes you look so gosh dang important, maybe the grossest WYR we've had so far, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna …
 
The real question here is can you return a wedding dress you accidentally buried your grandma in? Let's talk about that, sending your semen to a stranger to have it made into a necklace, how hard it would be to beat up a 100 pound bee, mistakenly getting a penis or two in your mouth, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become p…
 
There are so many useless options on appliances around your home! And the more you think about it, the crazier it gets! Let's talk about that, Bryan almost dying in a motorcycle accident, getting literally shot at while drunk the woods, a pillow fight that ended in a broken laptop, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become par…
 
What would you do if you came back inside only to find a stranger pointing a gun at you and forcing you to make a sandwich? Let's talk about that, how boring flying has become for whatever reason, an Uber driver who can't stop saving people from fires, what the heck is a Double Dutch Rudder, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna …
 
Everybody remembers that one guy who brought his leaf blower to the movie theatre, right? No? Let's talk about that, squishing cheese out of your shoes, maybe the best Nickelback song of all time, the future of augmented reality glasses, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! T…
 
Have you ever had a neighbor trap your pet and then proceed to have it completely relocated to a different city? Let's talk about that, punching a hole through your grandpa's computer, a massive brawl at a funeral, having to jerk off before eating anything ever again, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggl…
 
Holy heck! We just had one of the most insane three weeks of our lives! Joe hit the self-destruction button and landed himself in the ER, and Bryan's dad unexpectedly passed away. It's been a lot to tackle so apologies for disappearing for the last three weeks. But we're back! Let's talk about all of this and more on today's episode of Can You Don'…
 
Well, the bummer news from last week's show gets a lot heavier... but just like last week, it quickly becomes a shit show because laughing always helps during tough times! Let's talk about that, having litter boxes in schools, accidentally buying your old roller skates from decades ago, looking up porn in the computer lab, and more on today's episo…
 
We touch on a heavy topic in today's episode... but of course end up turning it into an absolute shit show because laughter cures all. Let's talk about that, repeatedly ignoring your delivery driver's calls, some super sexy ashtrays, how many cats it would take to defeat a t-rex, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part …
 
If you walked up to a trashcan to throw something away and it sexually moaned at you, would you be more inclined to dispose of waste correctly moving forward? Let's talk about that, how much Bryan loves dolphins, accidentally tossing your baby into a ceiling fan, a shower curtain that has pockets for all your electronic devices, and more on today's…
 
How long could you last in a relationship if your partner had a super bizarre kink you weren't into? Let's talk about that, not knowing that horses existed in other parts of the world, the messed up stuff fast food workers can do to your food, have French fries whenever you want, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** PLEASE RATE AND RE…
 
Do you remember how hard it used to be to look up porn? You had to be so damn sneaky! Let's talk about that, an Etsy store that spawns high quality nightmares, living life with a dong attached to your forearm, destroying Earth with the push of a button, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW US ON WHATEVER PODCAST…
 
Can you imagine going into a courtroom to present evidence and accidentally blowing the entire place up? Let's talk about that, taking the high road by murdering your family, hanging dirty clothes on the TV, keeping a promise, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW US ON WHATEVER PODCAST PLATFORM ALLOWS YOU TO! IT…
 
Have you ever had the pleasure of accidentally swinging open a bathroom door while poop is pouring all over the floor? Let's talk about that, a giant waste of money finding out what a 3,000 year old mummy sounds like, using the emergency escape slide on a plane, fighting over Netflix, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** PLEASE RATE A…
 
Can You Don't? is a weekly, comedic podcast where Joe Paisley and Bryan Albrandt delve into the depths of the Internet in order to retrieve the best and worst examples of humanity, while openly mocking themselves along the way for being complete idiots. *** PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW US ON WHATEVER PODCAST PLATFORM ALLOWS YOU TO! IT HELPS MORE THAN YOU…
 
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