Two sisters. Two coasts. One shared history of television super-fandom. Connor & Jordan Riley are re-watching the formative media of their youth - back with big brains and even bigger mouths.
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How Rude! The Full House Podcast


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How Rude! The Full House Podcast
Jonathon Pernisek / Brandon Shockney
An exhaustive deconstruction of the classic (?) '90s sitcom by Jonathon Pernisek, Brandon Shockney and their cavalcade of guests.
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Connor and Jordan put a cap on the MK&A canon with a Dualstar postmortem; discussing personal rankings, the price of fame, and some pretty special announcements - with a surprise guest star. High Desert Sobriety From Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the Friendship Club Studio, intimate interviews with... Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify…
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Connor and Jordan talk music videos, misadventures, and grown men obsessed with Mary-Kate in their final Dual Star Production, and Ashley's last acting credit (ever!!) New York Minute. High Desert Sobriety From Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the Friendship Club Studio, intimate interviews with... Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify…
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In the spirit of competition, Connor and Jordan are headed to Mexico to talk about non-binary spiders, the thrills of pool kissing, and surprise drops-ins from your most available exes in Mary-Kate and Ashley’s final home video installment, The Challenge. High Desert Sobriety From Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the Friendship Club Studio, intimate inter…
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Connor and Jordan get passionate about office romances, rude interns, and the rich kids with no work ethic as they rewatch Mary-Kate and Ashley’s last European adventure comedy, When in Rome. High Desert Sobriety From Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the Friendship Club Studio, intimate interviews with... Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify…
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Connor and Jordan drive a thrilling discussion about the practicality of convertible road trips, proper protocol for unrequited crushes, and some very glaring queerbaiting in Mary Kate and Ashley's coming-of-age road trip flick, Getting There. High Desert Sobriety From Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the Friendship Club Studio, intimate interviews with..…
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Connor and Jordan wade through the next installment of the Dualstar cannon, a film with all the cinematic stylings of an in-flight movie, to discuss the consequences of hotel jail, the merits of Austin Nichols, and the absurdity of flying private in Mary-Kate and Ashley’s Holiday in the Sun. High Desert Sobriety From Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the F…
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Jordan & Connor cross the pond to linger near the loo with lords, mingle with mates from model UN, and point pinkies at polo matches in a supersized review of their long-time favorite Mary-Kate and Ashley movie, Winning London. High Desert Sobriety From Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the Friendship Club Studio, intimate interviews with... Listen on: App…
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Connor and Jordan enjoy surreal dilemmas down under while dissecting the pitfalls of popularity, the merits of can-crushing, and the ideal date soundtrack with Mary-Kate and Ashley’s genre-defining classic, Our Lips Are Sealed. High Desert Sobriety From Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the Friendship Club Studio, intimate interviews with... Listen on: App…
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Midwestern girls Connor and Jordan reflect on little league culture, distant dads, and the importance of honoring your own interests in Mary-Kate and Ashley’s Switching Goals. High Desert Sobriety From Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the Friendship Club Studio, intimate interviews with... Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify…
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Connor and Jordan take the pod abroad to discuss French-American cuisine, dating versus Disney, and diplomats named Jeremy in Mary-Kate and Ashley's first international entry into the Dualstar canon, Passport to Paris. High Desert Sobriety From Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the Friendship Club Studio, intimate interviews with... Listen on: Apple Podcas…
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Connor and Jordan ponder the whisk-less existence of Venice Beach pre-teens as they re-examine Mary Kate and Ashley’s biases against gold diggers, punks, and cool girls with glasses in their seminal direct-to-video classic, Billboard Dad. High Desert Sobriety From Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the Friendship Club Studio, intimate interviews with... Lis…
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Connor and Jordan revisit the Olsen twins’ first theatrical release, It Takes Two and talk about the plight of 90s single motherhood, hapless rom-com fiancés, and the physical comedy genius of our girls, Mary-Kate and Ashley. High Desert Sobriety From Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the Friendship Club Studio, intimate interviews with... Listen on: Apple…
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How Rude! The Full House Podcast


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158. Michelle Rides Again (Parts 1 and 2)
1:48:24
1:48:24
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Well, here it is, gang, the very last episode of How Rude! The Full House Podcast. There really isn't much to say here because we honestly left it all on the field during our recording. A sports metaphor? Here? And now? You know it, baby. Here are the returning voices you'll hear during this big ass finale: Eddie Klinker, Molly Jones, Lindsay Lewin…
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How Rude! The Full House Podcast


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157. BONUS: Sugar and Spice Advice / Hip, Hip, Parade!
1:10:28
1:10:28
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Brandon and Jon are back for one final bonus episode, and for this solemn occasion they're bringing two more torrid tales from the world of FH literature. In "Sugar and Spice Advice", idiot mop Stephanie decides she's old enough to run her own business before proceeding to run said business into the ground. Stephanie, you may be able to cook (under…
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Ethan Link (co-host of the Don't Quote Me podcast) is a yummy little macaroon ally of the LGBT community and our FINAL honorary Rude Dude. But that doesn't mean we treated Ethan any differently, no-no-no, far from it. Ethan, like his 133 predecessors, had to watch a perilously awful bit of television, and that bit of television is known as "All Sto…
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Will Biby (proud cat owner and former resident of Mulkeytown, IL) is our penultimate guest, which means he had to sit down and watch a particularly tiresome retread of an episode known as "Leap of Faith". Remember the what has to be nearly a dozen episodes in which Jesse worries about losing his mojo? Remember how in every single one of them he lea…
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Ballroom dancer and Holidazzle alumni Grace Pelzer joined us this week to watch and discuss "Up on the Roof", in which Joey's latest business venture proves to be his stupidest and DJ's attempt at campus levity results in a man's death. Wait, does it? Does this end with a murder? I can't really remember in hindsight. Look, there's a sweaty security…
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Bo Durham is a master of confectionary creations and his redneck wedding is going to knock your socks off (because no one wears socks to a redneck wedding). He's an honest to God Wizard of Oz ruby red gem and we're so glad he joined us to discuss "Taking the Plunge". DJ didn't get into Stanford and she's bummed. Kimmy didn't get into a single schoo…
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Bryan Duff doesn't understand why a World Class Stick Man like John Stamos has been relegated to TV while someone like George Clooney is considered an A-lister. What happened? What is George's secret? They were both on ER! We take a hard look at the 3rd Batman's resume while also discussing Don Rickles, lawnmowers, and how Gia is not Hillary Swank,…
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Bill Nielsen (host of the So Many Bits podcast) may wind up taking home the prize for Best Childhood Catchphrase. It's honest to God adorable and I would never spoil it here, you'll just have to exercise some patience and hear it for yourself! Bill joined us to watch and analyze "Dateless in San Francisco", in which Danny frets over a Valentine's D…
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Alyssa Davis was a wave and a hungry American child. Alyssa Davis is a fan of her manatee, Mr. Jelly Bean. Alyssa Davis will always be a member of the How Rude! family. It's all true! This week we're watching / discussing / groaning over "Air Jesse", in which Jesse feels the sting of homophobia (for once) when it's revealed he knows absolutely noth…
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Thomas Kelly is another proud member of the We Love Aunt Becky Fan Club. Aunt Becky is kind, smart, and a great mother. Aunt Becky is a beautiful, bodacious babe. And she deserves a hell of a lot more than the callous, petty monster that is Uncle Jesse. It's not like we needed more proof of this, per se, but "My Left and Right Foot" is more than wi…
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Chris Woolsey is pretty sure you can't waltz into a dive bar like Weeb's with a bunch of small children. He's pretty sure Aaron's father is a disgusting creep and he's pretty sure a hat that has its own HANDS is a fashion no-no. You know what we're pretty sure about? Scratch that, we're certain: Chris is a fabulous fellah and a fantastic honorary R…
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Christine Wines adores cooking shows, celebrity news, and a neoprene beer koozie. She's totally chill and nuts-o bananas, the perfect Rude Dude to have by your side while wading through "The Producer". Yes, once again we have to watch a wretched Danny Tanner wrestle with his own ego as Becky rises through the ranks of Wake Up, San Francisco. There'…
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Lauren Walker is our honorary Rude Dude for the week and she is more than a little suspicious of the "park vandal" subplot that resides within "D.J.'s Choice". And for good reason, since it really, really reeks of white suburbanite disdain. But you know what cures white suburbanite disdain? Wiping. Wiping will cool the embers of this outrage. Quick…
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Aasia LaShay Bullock and Jon are in agreement when it comes to Santa: He is not necessary. If you want to raise your children sans Claus, then you should do it and save yourself the trouble of spinning progressively more complicated lies. Brandon Shockney does not agree with this opinion. Brandon's grip on the joys of Santa is like that of a bear t…
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Kip "Kippy" Reiserer has so many genuinely great / mildly disturbing stories about living the frat life you'd need at least two Late Plates to get through them at all. He's just the Rude Dude you wanna have in the room when watching / discussing "Under the Influence", in which Kimmy acts like a total asshat at her first frat party and manages to di…
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Lisa Beasley has mastered the escalators and navigated the mall and its many splendors. She is between five and six Subway sandwiches high and was slash is a fan of Full House, so does that make her an honorary Rude Dude? Yes, of course it does, you dumb dummy. She's great! We were so happy to have her by our side as we watched and discussed "Steph…
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Take a peek at our forthcoming podcast venture with this special pilot recording! We tackle the last week in movie trailer releases and rate them according to a scientific system: Stub It, which means we'd pay to watch it on the big screen; Stream It, which means we'd be willing to rent or check it out via Netflix or a similar service; or Skip It, …
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Tyler Samples (Rabbit Hole: A Wikipedia Podcast / The tl;dm Podcast) only had access to ABC as a child, so his television diet consisted entirely of nothing but TGIF programming. He's seen 'em all, my puppies, and that includes "Claire and Present Danger". What's it about? It's about Claire. Well, no, it's not really about Claire. It's about how Cl…
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140. BONUS: Truth or Dare / Problems in Paradise
1:01:01
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The boys are back and they're bearin' the books once more for a boo-tiful bonus ep, my bonnie babes! Jon kicks things off with a report on "Truth or Dare", the first in a Club Stephanie trilogy in which the middle Tanner sister finds herself caught between romance and professional aspirations while at Camp Sailaway. Can she achieve her CIT dreams a…
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Megan Brennan may not be the genetic equal of the Olsen twins, despite what her mother may say, but she knew the importance of rules from an early age and how optimism can help you avoid life's phantoms. The world can be a terrifying place, what with the terror of Sneaky Petes, the terror of chicken nugget babies, and the terror of improvising your…
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James Dugan knows exactly what he wants from his entertainment, whether it be from the TGIF lineup or the Power Rangers canon, so when he tells you this week's episode of Full House is nonsense, you better believe 'im, baby. "You Pet It, You Bought It" is honest to God one of the stupidest things we've watched since we started this enterprise in Ma…
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Geoff Dow spends an inordinate amount of time watching YouTube videos that actively call the viewer's sanity into question. He's a Wood Pusher, a Gladiator lover, and his artistic skills cannot be matched, at least when it comes to sketching one of our beloved Rude Dudes. Can you say the same for yourself, kind sir or madame? I thought not! Geoff j…
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136. BONUS: Mary-Kate and Ashley: Sweet 16 – Licensed to Drive
1:03:55
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Clayton Margeson returned to the How Rude! studio just so he could spend an inordinate amount of time playing Mary-Kate and Ashley: Sweet 16 - Licensed to Drive, a Gamecube title that defies logic and thumbs its nose at the very idea of fun. Seriously, this is a bummer of a game, and we honestly feel sorry for the poor kids who actively sought it o…
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Sometimes the content presented in a random episode of 'Full House' reflects the experience of our guests all too well, and that's the case with Damian Anaya. His story about a particularly secret Secret Club is just delightful and we can't wait for you to hear it. Yes, it's time to discuss "I've Got a Secret", a 20+ minute chunk of nonsense that's…
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Surena Marie's first party had all the conventions of a TV sitcom: Saying you're going over to a friend's house? Check. Teenagers drinking? Check. Sneaking back home without anyone noticing? Check and check! So you can see how she could relate to "Making Out Is Hard to Do", in which Stephanie stumbles into a steamy lip-lock marathon hosted by bad g…
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133. BONUS: You Again? / Topsy-Turvy House
41:58
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The Rude Dudes are on their tummies for another delightful bonus episode ... but are those tummies ... filled with ... pizza-pizza? No-no-no. Too early for pizza! Instead they gorged on heaping helpings of 'You Again?', a 1986 sitcom in which John Stamos and Jack Klugman bounce off each other in true Odd Couple style, and 'Topsy-Turvy House', the h…
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Mike Migdall has a girlfriend. Okay? Do we have this down? He's also our guest and the latest in a long line of honorary Rude Dudes, which means we made him sit through the thoroughly uninteresting and wildly pointless "Breaking Away". Yes, it's finally time for Nicky and Alex to enter preschool. Remember when they were admitted into that fancy pre…
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Lindsey Smith had a dream of one day visiting the mysterious and exciting world of her local (dilapidated) mall's Under 18 dance club. Alas, like the dreams of sitcom characters we know all too well, her dreams were stymied ... by FAMILY. Oh, family, when will you set us free? Why do you pin us to the earth when we so long to FLY? Lindsey, otherwis…
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How Rude! The Full House Podcast


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130. MARATHON: The Complete 7th Season
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1:33:08
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Sometimes it's difficult to see the forest for the trees, and sometimes you have to say fuck the trees and burn down the forest if you hope to make it out alive and with your sanity intact. That's why we invited Brad Pike back to watch and discuss EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of 'Full House' Season 7. Those episodes: It Was a Dark and Stormy Night; The Apa…
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How Rude! The Full House Podcast


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129. Fuller House: New Year's Eve Countdown
38:22
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Brandon and Jon are ringing in the New Year by taking some recent feedback to heart and trying something different for the podcast. This week they're deconstructing "Fuller House: New Year's Eve Countdown", which is about the Fuller House characters counting down to the New Year on New Year's Eve. We hope you enjoy the trivia and our overall explan…
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Justine Krueger is back to help us sift through the remains of 'Fuller House' season two: A Tangled Web! Glazed & Confused! New Kids in the House! DJ and Kimmy's High School Reunion! Nutcrackers! Happy New Year Baby! We got through every single sloppy second of it and were pleasantly surprised to find that it's actually better than the former half …
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How Rude! The Full House Podcast


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127. Fuller House Season 2 (Part I)
1:15:23
1:15:23
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Carlos Luna is back in the Rude Dude Studio to discuss the first SEVEN episodes of 'Fuller House' season two. "Welcome Back" introduces us to the Ashton Kutcher xerox of a xerox that is Jimmy Gibbler. "Mom Interference" introduces us to CJ and Crystal, characters I'm sure we'll all grow to love over the next twenty seasons of this Goddamn show. "Ra…
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How Rude! The Full House Podcast


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126. BONUS: My Best Friend Is a Movie Star! / The Story on Older Boys
1:15:05
1:15:05
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Brandon and Jon are back and their bellies are fit to burst with boffo bonus babies, baby. That's right, they're giving birth to little bonus babies. Isn't it beautiful and also a word that starts with "b" that is synonymous with disgusting? This time around your intrepid Dudes are forsaking screens and diving into the world of fine literature with…
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Flip on your snit and bop on your soggy bounce because it's time for another delicious / nutritious bonus episode! This week our tummies our full of pizza once more as we discuss the 1986 Bill Allen / Lori Loughlin vehicle 'Rad'. It's the timeless story of a white guy who wants to do something and everyone else is like "No way!" and the white guy h…
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How Rude! The Full House Podcast


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124. The House Meets the Mouse (Parts 1 and 2)
1:08:55
1:08:55
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Numbs 1: Meghan Murphy is a fantastic, extraordinarily funny person and we were so happy to have her serve as our latest honorary Rude Dude. Numbs 2: She's an enormous Disney nerd and an expert when it comes to their theme parks, which makes her the perfect person to discuss "The House Meets the Mouse". Is it little more than a 40-minute commercial…
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Rob Grabowski of the Remake podcast and Le Cordon Bleu College of Culinary Arts in Chicago joined us just in time to mourn the death of democracy ... in more ways than one. True, Trump is our next President, and that's beyond horrifying, but what the fuck is going on at Steve's senior prom? Who's counting THOSE votes and why are we assuming they ha…
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Nathan Kaplin could have gone to his very grave without having seen a second of the nonsense that is 'Full House'. But what happened to him? We happened to him, we did, we did. We took Nathan, we sat him down, and we made him watch "Room for One More". Fine, we didn't *make* him watch it. We asked him very nicely and he agreed to do it. But even so…
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May Tilden took a short hiatus from writing wedding jingles to help us deconstruct "Grand Gift Auto", in which Uncle Joey desperately tries to assert himself as a person worthy of the family's respect. Can he do it with flashy material goods? Can he do it by appealing to the Tanners' basic human decency? No. And no! You will never be truly loved, J…
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