Best Kristy Gaisford Podcasts (2023)

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Relationship Reckoning 48:10

2h ago48:10

48:10

How can you go about figuring if a relationship is really over? Whether you'd be happier without it? Kristy and Jerry discuss the intricacies of deciding when separating and ending a relationship is the right thing to do. Alternately: how can you come to peace with things that annoy you in your partner that just never seem to change?…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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When Your Partner Leaves 46:48

12d ago46:48

46:48

Jerry and Kristy consider all the variations in "leaving" and the repercussions for the relationship. Healthy alternatives for taking space are considered. As usual, we have a fight at the end and show a better way of doing that.By Jerry Sander, LCSW & Kristy Gaisford, LCSW

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Faith Transitions 40:24

28d ago40:24

40:24

Kristy and Jerry discuss the challenges and opportunities that exist when one member of a couple goes through changes about their religious beliefs (and practices). Does it always have to be a deal-breaker of epic proportions for the couple? And...what about any children who may be watching?By Kristy Gaisford, Jerry Sander

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Self Esteem: A Deep Dive 48:03

2M ago48:03

48:03

Kristy and Jerry take a deeper look at how self-esteem (yours!) remains at the core of a relationship's chances for success. The futility of trying to change your partner while not feeling good enough about yourself (or even knowing your own needs) is discussed, with special attention paid to each of the four quadrants conceptualized by Terry Real …

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Is Your Partner a Narcissist? 43:55

2M ago43:55

43:55

Is your partner a narcissist? And what are the implications if the answer is "Yes"? Is this term over-used, or under-recognized? What possibilities realistically exist for someone who is in a relationship with a narcissist? Jerry and Kristy wrestle with this in today's episode.By Kristy Gaisford, Jerry Sander

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Biting The Bullet 40:29

3M ago40:29

40:29

You know the feeling; that moment when your spouse asks you to do something that you absolutely, honestly DON'T want to do. But they enjoy it. What do you do? Radical honesty in the direction of "taking care of myself"? Or....aren't there just times where you have to "bite the bullet" and "take one for the team"? And how is this different from co-d…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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After The Affair 49:20

3M ago49:20

49:20

What happens, for a couple, after one partner has had an affair and it is now out in the open? What are the best things you can do (and the worst ones)? How long is the healing process? Is it really true that going through this together can lead to a closer relationship that existed previously? Jerry and Kristy consider it.…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Breadwinning 49:23

4M ago49:23

49:23

Talking about money -- and how it affects your relationship -- is one of the hardest things for a couple to do. Without even knowing that we are responding to our family of origin's stories and values we often develop resentments and major barriers to intimacy with our partners and don't know how to begin talking about it. Jerry and Kristy try to u…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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When I Need You The Most, You Disappear 47:42

4M ago47:42

47:42

Kristy and Jerry explore some of the most challenging types of disconnected moments between couples. How comfortable are men with crying, or big expressions of emotion? Do men run and duck, looking for cover, abandoning spouses, emotionally, just when their connected presence is needed the most? How can this cycle be broken?…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Me Versus Us 44:13

4M ago44:13

44:13

We all want time to ourselves. But what about when that seems to conflict directly with connecting relationally to the significant others around us? What then??? Are there ways of maintaining healthy connections while giving ourselves what we need solo? Jerry and Kristy consider this.By Jerry Sander, Kristy Gaisford

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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When Politics Rips Couples Apart 43:23

5M ago43:23

43:23

Jerry & Kristy discuss the growing trend of angry politics ripping couples apart and testing their relationships as the media around them continue to provoke people to ever-rising levels of division. Alternatives are considered.By Jerry Sander, Kristy Gaisford

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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The One Thing... 42:46

6M ago42:46

42:46

Jerry & Kristy ponder the ONE THING we'd love you to MOST GET in the realm of couples' therapy. And -- in preparation for a few weeks off at the end of August -- we have two excellent fake fights and demonstrate how things could be handled differently. Let us know what you'd like to hear us cover, as topics, in our 2nd season, which begins in Septe…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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What (Some) Women Say in Therapy 43:23

8M ago43:23

43:23

In our follow-up episode Kristy and Jerry consider what we often here from women in sessions regarding being in a couple/marriage/parenting arrangement. We conclude with a seemingly spontaneous -- and annoying -- fight, showing how alternative ways of expressing/reacting get you better results.By Jerry Sander, Kristy Gaisford

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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What (Some) Men Say In Therapy 44:05

9M ago44:05

44:05

What do (some) men sound like in therapy, to a couples' therapist? What are their initial presenting complaints? Can generalizations safely be made, after hearing the same themes repeated over and over again? Jerry & Kristy compare notes, and try to draw some positive momentum from it. We also offer a sample couples' relationship fight, with it rew…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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The Allure of Other People 38:13

9M ago38:13

38:13

Ahhhh...the gentle (or powerful) allure of Other People. They're just....perfect. Aren't they? Wouldn't life be perfect with them? Jerry and Kristy consider the challenges, and illusions, the flashing attraction to others might bring.By Jerry Sander, Kristy Gaisford

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Codependent Sex 40:13

9M ago40:13

40:13

Jerry & Kristy tackle the thorny topic of the intersection of sexual behaviors in relationships as they may reflect basic patterns of codependency. The importance of self-esteem, boundaries and other basics often get lost in the mix when another person's varied needs come into play. Strategies for achieving a sexual reset that offers mutual satisfa…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Fight, Fix, or Flee? 46:19

10M ago46:19

46:19

Kristy and Jerry look at 3 of the typical reactions to conflicts within relationships and wrestle with understanding the limitations of all of them. Can there be a different way? What does that look like and sound like?By Kristy Gaisford, Jerry Sander

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Why Do I Keep Throwing Gasoline on the Fire? 45:08

11M ago45:08

45:08

Kristy & Jerry look at some ways that our failures to self-soothe and regulate our emotions impact relationships negatively. We illustrate with some tried-and-true roads to failure and then correct them, illustrating how differently it can be handled.By Kristy Gaisford, Jerry Sander

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Porn & Relationships 37:15

11M ago37:15

37:15

Is viewing porn good for your relationship? Your sex-lives together? How do couples actually integrate it into their relational lives? Or do they not do that at all? Is there a serious downside to viewing porn? Or are the effects fairly benign? Are there certain realms, even in relationships, that are, or should be, for just you? Can any of this en…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Sex 45:20

1y ago45:20

45:20

Kristy & Jerry take on the wonderfully volatile, rewarding and challenging topic of sex within relationships. What does sex, in relationships, bring up for us? How do we reconcile our own desires, or lack of desire, for, and with, our partner? And just exactly how good could it be? What would happen if we talked about these things outloud?…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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What Is A Healthy Relationship Anyway? 47:29

1y ago47:29

47:29

Join Jerry and Kristy for the vivid experience of our first fight, with a great deal of perspective, laughter and alternative ways of handling things within a relationship identified.By Jerry Sander/Kristy Gaisford

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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I Just Happened To Look At His Phone And... 48:05

1y ago48:05

48:05

Kristy & Jerry explore the idea of boundaries within relationships and the challenges that are brought to them by the ever-widening presence of technology in our lives. How much privacy should 1/2 of a couple be entitled to? Do you give up all privacy when you are married, or in a committed relationship? Should you? And how do boundaries interact w…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Step-Parenting: A Stranger in a Strange Land 39:41

1+ y ago39:41

39:41

Jerry and Kristy consider the enormous challenges and complexities of one of the least-intuitive constructs humans have invented: The Blended Family. Step-parents, natural parents, step-children and children from the first (or second) marriage all seem to feel the challenges, in different ways, as it looks all-too-often impossible to successfully m…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Emotional Affairs & Infidelity 42:09

1+ y ago42:09

42:09

What, exactly, constitutes an emotional affair? And is it really cheating? As long as you're not technically having sex isn't it kind of o.k.? And -- once discovered or divulged -- does it always have to signal the end of a marriage? In our 10th episode, Jerry and Kristy will consider....By Jerry Sander and Kristy Gaisford

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Why A Boot Camp Is For You 31:14

1+ y ago31:14

31:14

Jerry & Kristy talk about the weekend Relationship Boot Camps we run and ask the question: Why should you pay attention to THIS workshop? What's in it for you? And...your relationship? Visit https://loveworkrelationships.com/ for more information re: how to registerBy Jerry Sander and Kristy Gaisford

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Be Right or Be Happy 45:42

1+ y ago45:42

45:42

Jerry & Kristy take a deep dive into one of the most notable of losing strategies that couples regularly deploy: Being Right. Where does this come from? Why do we keep doing it when it fails over and over to get us what we really want? And -- most importantly -- how else could we handle these moments?…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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My Divorce Story (Hers) 47:57

1+ y ago47:57

47:57

Kristy talks about her divorce, looking back at some key elements of the past that were believed to be true at the time, but needed to change. The influence of family-of-origin, inherited beliefs about how a woman is supposed to be in a marriage, habit and fears are considered. The disequilibrium of the first year of divorce is explored, along with…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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My Divorce Story (His) 51:04

1+ y ago51:04

51:04

Jerry talks about his divorce, looking back at some key elements of the past that were believed to be true at the time, but needed to change. The influence of family-of-origin, inherited beliefs about how a man is supposed to be in a marriage, habit and fears are considered. The disequilibrium of the first year of divorce is explored, along with a …

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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When Is A Relationship Over? 41:12

1+ y ago41:12

41:12

Kristy & Jerry discuss those pivotal, painful questions that come when you look, with clarity, at what you've got going on your relationship, right now, today. Are there any signs it is getting better? Do I still even want it to? Do we have too many years of bad habits, neglect and poor communication? Would we be better off calling it quits and sta…

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Dancing In The Dark 35:41

1+ y ago35:41

35:41

Jerry and Kristy discuss the dance(s) couples do with little awareness, almost on auto-pilot, leading to general dissatisfaction for both. Alternatives are considered.By Jerry Sander, LCSW & Kristy Gaisford, LCSW

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Acting 32:10

1+ y ago32:10

32:10

Kristy & Jerry discuss the art of acting-in-relationships, and the toll this takes. Careful distinction is made between resisting the temptation to overshare and vent (in boundaryless fashion) and the absolute fakery that gets couples in big trouble.By Kristy Gaisford & Jerry Sander

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Relationship Myths 19:58

2y ago19:58

19:58

Kristy and Jerry dissect a few of the relationship myths we grew up believing and consider some healthier alternatives. For more info re: the Boot Camps we offer, and our services in general, please visit us at: https://loveworkrelationships.com/By Kristy Gaisford, Jerry Sander

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Mind Reading & Faulty Radar 34:53

2y ago34:53

34:53

Kristy and Jerry discuss a few of the most traditional destined-to-fail strategies couples often employ and suggest some different approaches.By Kristy Gaisford, Jerry Sander

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LoveWork: Skills for a Relational Life

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Great Expectations 28:06

2y ago28:06

28:06

In which the two of us consider the beautiful beginning phase of relationships and the rose-colored glasses that usually accompany it. Do you remember walking with your feet several inches off the ground? Or were your early days as a couple much more fraught, and cautious, than that? But still....the deliciousness that all-too-often gets buried ben…

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