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Stoner Taurus, if this September was taking place in the latest Fall rom-rom: Everyone would be roasting bowls. Ready with witty one-liners and snarky comebacks. Passing the joint while laughing at each other’s five-year-old. Espousing inside stoner jokes that have been told a hundred times before, but that everyone still thinks are hilarious. The …
 
Stoner Scorpio the first Fall month sets up to be a blessed period, but it won’t be devoid of tactical nuance. So much of the universal influence and support in September centers around effort born from creativity, married to community. Wow, that was a mouthful. Early in the month toke time with the sacred herb to tap into the creative complex of t…
 
Click click click is the loud sound as the car is jerked forward in unison. You are filled with anxiety and anticipation. Each click, each jerk, draws more eagerness and dread inside of you. Finally the car reaches the top of the climb. There is a moment of weightlessness before the plunge. Acceleration, euphoria, and adrenaline all combine in that…
 
For some stoner Pisces, September will mark the beginning of a new chapter in their smokey story; a time where the weather is cooling down, but the good vibes are heating up. For others, it could be a continuation of the same hazy, hard-to-handle happenings they have been dealing with in past months. But, it’s not up to the cosmos which path will b…
 
Stoner Libra, remember that even the tallest of trees is only as strong as its roots. With cosmic winds expected to increase with intensity, and become more unpredictable in September, it will be crucial to prepare yourself. Make sure you are planted firmly in solid ground. If you haven’t been working in the past months on finding your inner equili…
 
Dare to dream stoner Gemini. The September time period is a powerful month for the stoner Twin. Confidence, diligence, and a positive mental attitude will be the keys to unlocking the cosmic magic manifesting in the first Fall month. Early in the month toke time with the sacred herb. Dare to dream stoner Gemini! Use communions with cannabis to fly …
 
Stoner Capricorn the month of September sets up to be as complex as your inner machinations. As it is tough to pin down your stoner traits on any given day, so too will it be difficult to predict universal influence in the first Fall month. Make sure your treasure chest of cannabis strains is loaded early in the month my mercurial Sea-Goat. Flexibi…
 
Dare to dream stoner Gemini. The September time period is a powerful month for the stoner Twin. Confidence, diligence, and a positive mental attitude will be the keys to unlocking the cosmic magic manifesting in the first Fall month. Early in the month toke time with the sacred herb. Dare to dream stoner Gemini! Use communions with cannabis to fly …
 
Stoner Cancer, if there is one thing you can count on in September, it’s that plans are always subject to change. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to look ahead, just don’t stress too much when you have to alter course, or take a different route, to reach your destination. These detours, which at first might feel like setbacks or delays, could e…
 
Stoner Aries the cosmic influence of September doesn’t lean into your strong stoner traits. Introspective contemplation is never your desired state of mind! However, sometimes a little support in areas unfamiliar is the key to a progressive period. Don’t fret my bold Ram. With the contemplative universal support present this month, deep dives with …
 
Stoner Aquarius, you are familiar with, and likely partake in, some form of annual Spring cleaning. How about the concept of Fall foundation building? Are you ready? It might sound like it’s still a long way away, but just like objects in the mirror, 2022 is much closer than it appears! After the past few months spent on the grind: Working, playing…
 
Stoner Virgo the month of August will be similar to that time you hit the pipe, or joint, one time too many in one session. Crashing waves of stoned paranoia followed by troughs of paralyzing deep contemplative thoughts all leaving you beached on an island within yourself. We’ve all been there, my logical Virgin. The great news is that you survived…
 
Stoner Taurus August will be an emotional period. All of the human condition will be felt on the terrestrial journey through the final Summer month. In the first two weeks of August, lean heavy on the sacred connection provided by cannabis. Universal influence will support digging deep into the roots of your familial bonds. Toke time to medicate an…
 
Stoner Scorpio, who said the Summer season was all about lounging in the solar rays? Not you, not this August! No need to prepare for an ambitious final Summer month, you already know what is coming. And it comes fast stoner Scorpio. Universal influence will make an immediate impact in the first days of August as all your hard work recently will tr…
 
Stoner Sagittarius August will be a month of contemplation and great progress; so long as you toke the time to make it so. So long as you stay within your protected boundaries of the smoke circle, all campaigns will be met with swift victory! The stoner Archer is a master strategist, and firm in their faith. Cosmic winds of enlightenment will offer…
 
Stoner Pisces, although it’s peak Summer, not every day will be filled with fun in the sun. You may feel tempted at times to call out from work, and hit the open road in search of secluded smoke spots to toke a break from the daily grind. Unfortunately, you still have business to handle my slippery Fish. Rent is still due, bills need to be paid, an…
 
Get ready for fun in the sun stoner Libra. Positive solar rays will be beaming expansive influence in August. Perhaps this is the pay-off from months of hard work. Perhaps it’s just dumb luck, or destiny. Thankfully this cosmic wind of universal support won’t come with many requirements or traps. Simple PMA, a positive mental attitude, will be the …
 
Stoner Leo let’s get lit in August! Universal influence will be beaming with sunny rays that accentuate the traits of the stoner Lion. As long as you mind your self reflection, expansive progress and smokin good times are assured in the final Summer month. The leader of the stoner Zodiac must be confident and certain. However, the confident stoner …
 
Are you ready stoner Gemini? I know you are. And the stoner Zodiac is waiting with anticipation. August will be the time of the Twin, and the world will be a more exciting, and colorful place because of it. The universe will be shining a big bright light on you stoner Gemini. Don’t get stage fright. We all need you to perform. Thankfully, this big …
 
Stoner Cancer, you are known for being the most cautious and calculating of all the stoner Zodiac; usually you prefer to take the tried-and-true path over the road less traveled. But, this month the chronic-loving Crab will have the chance to get in touch with their more spontaneous side. This doesn’t mean you should let all of your inhibitions go …
 
What a wonderful time to be a stoner Capricorn! The final Summer month will bring blessings of opportunity and understanding to the plotting Sea-Goat. Stoner Capricorn, I understand that your primary modes are logic based, and it certainly has suited you well on our terrestrial plane. But early in the month you will have the opportunity to dive dee…
 
Stoner Aries, you’ve been blazing hot and fast since the Summer season started. So you don’t have to feel like you’re missing out if you decide to slow your roll, and coast into the cooler days of Fall. Of course, you don’t want to completely burn out, and spend the whole month in a perpetual state of couch-lock. But know this my restful Ram: It’s …
 
Stoner Aquarius, you have spent the first months of Summer doing what you do best: Helping all of your closest cannabis companions to weather the cosmic storms, and maintaining cooler heads in the face of increased tension and turmoil. You don’t have to completely abandon your friends when they’re in need, but during the remaining Summer days of Au…
 
Stoner Virgo, your Zodiac peers often look enviously to your example: An easy breezy, go-with-the-flow kind of stride that keeps everyone wondering, “How DO they do it?” As nice as it is to recite mantras like, ‘keep calm and puff on’ or ‘light up and let go’, you know the truth stoner Virgo: It takes work! Don’t get caught up in making it look so …
 
Stoner Taurus, you pride yourself in your housekeeping, your personal wellbeing, and the wellbeing of others. Your door, and stash jars, are always open to your fellow tokin terrestrial astronauts. Whether they are seeking to take rest before embarking on their next cosmic journey, or they are there to spend time chopping it up with the smoke circl…
 
Stoner Scorpio rejoice! It’s officially Summer season, and the warming weather will melt some of your pesky stoner traits. Get ready to light up the trails to sacred terrestrial smoke spots. Fears and inhibitions will withdraw as walls of confidentiality are broken down. The planetary influence of July will mute the stoner Scorpion’s natural inclin…
 
Stoner Pisces, great buds do not happen by accident. It takes the right climate, inputs, and conditions to grow those dense, frosty nugs. Even the biggest plant in the garden started as a tiny seed that relied on the nutrients of the lowly soil. Some of your partners-in-chronic might see themselves as the dankest ones in the group, but remember sto…
 
Stoner Sagittarius July will be an expansive time period. It will be as if the Centaurian Archer grew wings, and manifested themselves into a cosmic unicorn capable of flight. Stock your sacred smoke box with various cannabis strains. Different situations will require different tools to enhance the cosmic mission of July. Strains that assist deep c…
 
Stoner Libra, your days of solo smoke sessions on your sofa are over. It’s time you join your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts in soaking up the Summer sun. It’s time to blaze bowls at your favorite outdoor smoke spots! It may have taken you a bit longer than your cannabis companions, but you are back to full burn: Ready to fill July with epic …
 
It’s good to be the stoner Lion of the Zodiac. July will be a blessed period for the stoner Leo. Communication skills will be accentuated by celestial influence. The highest reaches of the stoner Leo will only be limited by their cosmic imagination. Puff puff pass on the anxiety this month stoner Leo. Your brilliant communication skills will be fur…
 
Stoner Gemini, the second Summer month is sure to be lit. Your terrestrial travels will be bountiful and blessed; as the sweet Summer Sun sends cosmic kisses of warm energy to the creative Twin. Feel the flow stoner Gemini. This month your enigmatic personality will attract fellow cannabis connoisseurs as if a positive spell has been cast across th…
 
Stoner Capricorn there is so much of your wonderful nature that is steeped in tradition and consistency. But sometimes major steps of growth can come from breaking free from dependable routines. July will test the stoner Sea-Goat. But this is a worthwhile exam. Use the perspective expanding nature of the sacred herb to break out of your traditional…
 
Stoner Cancer, as you move through the warm tides of the season, all eyes will be on you! While you are a moon child, the Summer sun will illuminate your energetic aura, and make you shine even brighter. Cannabis hybrid strains should be your go-to green gas as you speed through July. These balanced buds will keep you grounded while your spirit and…
 
Stoner Aries prepare for fireworks in July. No, this explosive analogy is not tied to dramatics within the smoke circle; but instead, think of yourself as the streaking explosion of color across the night sky. The universe is sending coordinated tools of positivity your way in the second Summer month. Where you may be headstrong and over exuberant …
 
Stoner Aquarius throughout the month you are sure to be a cool oasis for your fellow tokin terrestrial astronauts journeying throughout the hot, hazy days of July. Being in your presence will be as refreshing as the first sip of water after hours spent melting in the sun; as invigorating as the first puff after an extended tolerance break. You can …
 
Stoner Aries with summer in full swing, you are fired up, roaring and ready to blaze full speed ahead. You are the fun-loving spirit who will say yes to almost any invitation for adventure. The one who is down to join your partners in chronic on all of their endo-excursions. But proceed with caution this month. The goal is to make the most of the l…
 
Stoner Cancer sweet Summer is finally here. While you watch your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts pack their sunscreen, sticky green, and plenty of stoner-approved snacks, ready to hit their favorite outdoor smoke spot, you might find yourself feeling like your couch is a more appealing destination. My resilient Crab, it’s been a wild ride the …
 
It’s the season of the Twin! Stoner Gemini I am sure you are geared up and ready to toke all you can this month. But watch out! There are hidden cosmic elements that should pull the reins on highly ambitious expectations. Chill stoner Gemini, this month is going to be fantastic. With the right attitude, realistic expectations, and a measured cannab…
 
Stoner Capricorn Summer is finally here. You might be tempted to light up and leave all your worries behind; especially as you see your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts appear to be living the carefree life. Unfortunately, June will not provide you the same opportunity for a go-with-the-flow attitude, at least if you want to avoid the rough rap…
 
Stoner Leo the first Summer month is finally here. There are sure to be many smoke sessions to cloud your terrestrial travels this month. But the driving nature of your connection to the cannabis crew will be changed during this time period. Don’t worry my prideful Lion, I do not have deep internal meditations of introspection in my cannabis infuse…
 
Stoner Libra Summer is finally here! But is it really? The tones and notes of Summer may be in the air, but the blessings of the season will have to wait for July and August. Mercury is in retrograde for the start of Summer. Now, this doesn’t spell disaster, but a keen third eye will have to be placed toward location and ambition. Go ahead stoner L…
 
Stoner Pisces, you are able to get along with almost everyone. Afterall, you are the kind and fun-loving Fish, ready to share a bowl, and your positive wavelengths, with all those who wade into your nearby waters. But not everyone will be attracted or impressed by your overflowing optimism. Don’t waste time worrying about a few crabby critics stone…
 
Stoner Sag June will focus on personal growth and patience. Mercury and Saturn are transiting retrograde this month. Now this doesn’t spell out the doom and gloom some would have you believe, but it does change the normal flow within your stoner star sign traits. My fiery Archer, you can often be the life of the party: Packing and matching bowls fr…
 
Stoner Scorpio the June time period could be legendary! Progress and personal breakthroughs found in future time periods may be tied back to this time right now. You have a secret weapon. You have a cannabis copilot to guide you through periods like this to find triumph where competition wasn’t even expected. Mercury is in retrograde for you this m…
 
Stoner Taurus the cosmos will bring a tumultuous start to the Summer season. It’s possible no stoner star sign will feel the impact of Mercury retrograde more than the hard charging stoner Bull. But sit back, take contemplative tokes of the marijuana smoke, and let’s puff puff plan a course of action to find progress in this less than ideal cosmic …
 
Stoner Virgo, get ready for an intriguing June. Mercury and Saturn are in retrograde this month, and the effects could be more dramatic for the hard working Virgin. You must find your inner chill stoner Virgo. Seek out an Indica dominant hybrid cannabis strain to utilize as your daily driver for the month. Wedding Cake should do nicely. Mercury in …
 
Stoner Aquarius Summer is finally here! But the newfound solar influence this month will be accompanied by a cosmic conundrum of sorts. Perhaps this will be the perfect puzzle to keep your inquisitive mind occupied. With your cannabis copilot connecting your mind, body, and spirit, this month is sure to be an adventure. Ah yes my stoner Water-Beare…
 
Stoner Taurus of all the stoner star signs, you will have the greenest thumb this month. Whatever you touch will flourish, and everyone you encounter will leave with peace in their hearts and good buds in their pipes! Some might be skeptical of your vibrant optimism, thinking that you are just looking at the world through green-colored glasses. But…
 
Do you like rollercoasters stoner Scorpio? Of course you do my brave Scorpion. Well buckle up, because the month of May is destined to be a thrill ride with many ups and downs. One of the deepest and most impactful cosmic influences of the final Spring month will be felt internally. As you travel through May, you will shed complex layers of emotion…
 
Stoner Sagittarius the period of May will delight the tension in your bow. My curious Archer always on a quest for truth and reason, perhaps this month you shall hit your mark with precision. Make sure your quiver is loaded with a balanced hybrid cannabis strain. The key to this month will be feeding the natural curiosity with an enhanced third eye…
 
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