Fullhouse Podcasts

Well, here it is, gang, the very last episode of How Rude! The Full House Podcast. There really isn't much to say here because we honestly left it all on the field during our recording. A sports metaphor? Here? And now? You know it, baby. Here are the returning voices you'll hear during this big ass finale: Eddie Klinker, Molly Jones, Lindsay Lewin…

Brandon and Jon are back for one final bonus episode, and for this solemn occasion they're bringing two more torrid tales from the world of FH literature. In "Sugar and Spice Advice", idiot mop Stephanie decides she's old enough to run her own business before proceeding to run said business into the ground. Stephanie, you may be able to cook (under…

Ethan Link (co-host of the Don't Quote Me podcast) is a yummy little macaroon ally of the LGBT community and our FINAL honorary Rude Dude. But that doesn't mean we treated Ethan any differently, no-no-no, far from it. Ethan, like his 133 predecessors, had to watch a perilously awful bit of television, and that bit of television is known as "All Sto…

Will Biby (proud cat owner and former resident of Mulkeytown, IL) is our penultimate guest, which means he had to sit down and watch a particularly tiresome retread of an episode known as "Leap of Faith". Remember the what has to be nearly a dozen episodes in which Jesse worries about losing his mojo? Remember how in every single one of them he lea…

Ballroom dancer and Holidazzle alumni Grace Pelzer joined us this week to watch and discuss "Up on the Roof", in which Joey's latest business venture proves to be his stupidest and DJ's attempt at campus levity results in a man's death. Wait, does it? Does this end with a murder? I can't really remember in hindsight. Look, there's a sweaty security…

Bo Durham is a master of confectionary creations and his redneck wedding is going to knock your socks off (because no one wears socks to a redneck wedding). He's an honest to God Wizard of Oz ruby red gem and we're so glad he joined us to discuss "Taking the Plunge". DJ didn't get into Stanford and she's bummed. Kimmy didn't get into a single schoo…

Bryan Duff doesn't understand why a World Class Stick Man like John Stamos has been relegated to TV while someone like George Clooney is considered an A-lister. What happened? What is George's secret? They were both on ER! We take a hard look at the 3rd Batman's resume while also discussing Don Rickles, lawnmowers, and how Gia is not Hillary Swank,…

Bill Nielsen (host of the So Many Bits podcast) may wind up taking home the prize for Best Childhood Catchphrase. It's honest to God adorable and I would never spoil it here, you'll just have to exercise some patience and hear it for yourself! Bill joined us to watch and analyze "Dateless in San Francisco", in which Danny frets over a Valentine's D…

Alyssa Davis was a wave and a hungry American child. Alyssa Davis is a fan of her manatee, Mr. Jelly Bean. Alyssa Davis will always be a member of the How Rude! family. It's all true! This week we're watching / discussing / groaning over "Air Jesse", in which Jesse feels the sting of homophobia (for once) when it's revealed he knows absolutely noth…

Thomas Kelly is another proud member of the We Love Aunt Becky Fan Club. Aunt Becky is kind, smart, and a great mother. Aunt Becky is a beautiful, bodacious babe. And she deserves a hell of a lot more than the callous, petty monster that is Uncle Jesse. It's not like we needed more proof of this, per se, but "My Left and Right Foot" is more than wi…

Chris Woolsey is pretty sure you can't waltz into a dive bar like Weeb's with a bunch of small children. He's pretty sure Aaron's father is a disgusting creep and he's pretty sure a hat that has its own HANDS is a fashion no-no. You know what we're pretty sure about? Scratch that, we're certain: Chris is a fabulous fellah and a fantastic honorary R…

Christine Wines adores cooking shows, celebrity news, and a neoprene beer koozie. She's totally chill and nuts-o bananas, the perfect Rude Dude to have by your side while wading through "The Producer". Yes, once again we have to watch a wretched Danny Tanner wrestle with his own ego as Becky rises through the ranks of Wake Up, San Francisco. There'…

Lauren Walker is our honorary Rude Dude for the week and she is more than a little suspicious of the "park vandal" subplot that resides within "D.J.'s Choice". And for good reason, since it really, really reeks of white suburbanite disdain. But you know what cures white suburbanite disdain? Wiping. Wiping will cool the embers of this outrage. Quick…

Aasia LaShay Bullock and Jon are in agreement when it comes to Santa: He is not necessary. If you want to raise your children sans Claus, then you should do it and save yourself the trouble of spinning progressively more complicated lies. Brandon Shockney does not agree with this opinion. Brandon's grip on the joys of Santa is like that of a bear t…

Kip "Kippy" Reiserer has so many genuinely great / mildly disturbing stories about living the frat life you'd need at least two Late Plates to get through them at all. He's just the Rude Dude you wanna have in the room when watching / discussing "Under the Influence", in which Kimmy acts like a total asshat at her first frat party and manages to di…

Lisa Beasley has mastered the escalators and navigated the mall and its many splendors. She is between five and six Subway sandwiches high and was slash is a fan of Full House, so does that make her an honorary Rude Dude? Yes, of course it does, you dumb dummy. She's great! We were so happy to have her by our side as we watched and discussed "Steph…

Take a peek at our forthcoming podcast venture with this special pilot recording! We tackle the last week in movie trailer releases and rate them according to a scientific system: Stub It, which means we'd pay to watch it on the big screen; Stream It, which means we'd be willing to rent or check it out via Netflix or a similar service; or Skip It, …

Tyler Samples (Rabbit Hole: A Wikipedia Podcast / The tl;dm Podcast) only had access to ABC as a child, so his television diet consisted entirely of nothing but TGIF programming. He's seen 'em all, my puppies, and that includes "Claire and Present Danger". What's it about? It's about Claire. Well, no, it's not really about Claire. It's about how Cl…

The boys are back and they're bearin' the books once more for a boo-tiful bonus ep, my bonnie babes! Jon kicks things off with a report on "Truth or Dare", the first in a Club Stephanie trilogy in which the middle Tanner sister finds herself caught between romance and professional aspirations while at Camp Sailaway. Can she achieve her CIT dreams a…

Megan Brennan may not be the genetic equal of the Olsen twins, despite what her mother may say, but she knew the importance of rules from an early age and how optimism can help you avoid life's phantoms. The world can be a terrifying place, what with the terror of Sneaky Petes, the terror of chicken nugget babies, and the terror of improvising your…

James Dugan knows exactly what he wants from his entertainment, whether it be from the TGIF lineup or the Power Rangers canon, so when he tells you this week's episode of Full House is nonsense, you better believe 'im, baby. "You Pet It, You Bought It" is honest to God one of the stupidest things we've watched since we started this enterprise in Ma…

Geoff Dow spends an inordinate amount of time watching YouTube videos that actively call the viewer's sanity into question. He's a Wood Pusher, a Gladiator lover, and his artistic skills cannot be matched, at least when it comes to sketching one of our beloved Rude Dudes. Can you say the same for yourself, kind sir or madame? I thought not! Geoff j…

Clayton Margeson returned to the How Rude! studio just so he could spend an inordinate amount of time playing Mary-Kate and Ashley: Sweet 16 - Licensed to Drive, a Gamecube title that defies logic and thumbs its nose at the very idea of fun. Seriously, this is a bummer of a game, and we honestly feel sorry for the poor kids who actively sought it o…

Sometimes the content presented in a random episode of 'Full House' reflects the experience of our guests all too well, and that's the case with Damian Anaya. His story about a particularly secret Secret Club is just delightful and we can't wait for you to hear it. Yes, it's time to discuss "I've Got a Secret", a 20+ minute chunk of nonsense that's…

Surena Marie's first party had all the conventions of a TV sitcom: Saying you're going over to a friend's house? Check. Teenagers drinking? Check. Sneaking back home without anyone noticing? Check and check! So you can see how she could relate to "Making Out Is Hard to Do", in which Stephanie stumbles into a steamy lip-lock marathon hosted by bad g…

The Rude Dudes are on their tummies for another delightful bonus episode ... but are those tummies ... filled with ... pizza-pizza? No-no-no. Too early for pizza! Instead they gorged on heaping helpings of 'You Again?', a 1986 sitcom in which John Stamos and Jack Klugman bounce off each other in true Odd Couple style, and 'Topsy-Turvy House', the h…

Mike Migdall has a girlfriend. Okay? Do we have this down? He's also our guest and the latest in a long line of honorary Rude Dudes, which means we made him sit through the thoroughly uninteresting and wildly pointless "Breaking Away". Yes, it's finally time for Nicky and Alex to enter preschool. Remember when they were admitted into that fancy pre…

Lindsey Smith had a dream of one day visiting the mysterious and exciting world of her local (dilapidated) mall's Under 18 dance club. Alas, like the dreams of sitcom characters we know all too well, her dreams were stymied ... by FAMILY. Oh, family, when will you set us free? Why do you pin us to the earth when we so long to FLY? Lindsey, otherwis…

Sometimes it's difficult to see the forest for the trees, and sometimes you have to say fuck the trees and burn down the forest if you hope to make it out alive and with your sanity intact. That's why we invited Brad Pike back to watch and discuss EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of 'Full House' Season 7. Those episodes: It Was a Dark and Stormy Night; The Apa…

Brandon and Jon are ringing in the New Year by taking some recent feedback to heart and trying something different for the podcast. This week they're deconstructing "Fuller House: New Year's Eve Countdown", which is about the Fuller House characters counting down to the New Year on New Year's Eve. We hope you enjoy the trivia and our overall explan…

Justine Krueger is back to help us sift through the remains of 'Fuller House' season two: A Tangled Web! Glazed & Confused! New Kids in the House! DJ and Kimmy's High School Reunion! Nutcrackers! Happy New Year Baby! We got through every single sloppy second of it and were pleasantly surprised to find that it's actually better than the former half …

Carlos Luna is back in the Rude Dude Studio to discuss the first SEVEN episodes of 'Fuller House' season two. "Welcome Back" introduces us to the Ashton Kutcher xerox of a xerox that is Jimmy Gibbler. "Mom Interference" introduces us to CJ and Crystal, characters I'm sure we'll all grow to love over the next twenty seasons of this Goddamn show. "Ra…

Brandon and Jon are back and their bellies are fit to burst with boffo bonus babies, baby. That's right, they're giving birth to little bonus babies. Isn't it beautiful and also a word that starts with "b" that is synonymous with disgusting? This time around your intrepid Dudes are forsaking screens and diving into the world of fine literature with…

Flip on your snit and bop on your soggy bounce because it's time for another delicious / nutritious bonus episode! This week our tummies our full of pizza once more as we discuss the 1986 Bill Allen / Lori Loughlin vehicle 'Rad'. It's the timeless story of a white guy who wants to do something and everyone else is like "No way!" and the white guy h…

Numbs 1: Meghan Murphy is a fantastic, extraordinarily funny person and we were so happy to have her serve as our latest honorary Rude Dude. Numbs 2: She's an enormous Disney nerd and an expert when it comes to their theme parks, which makes her the perfect person to discuss "The House Meets the Mouse". Is it little more than a 40-minute commercial…

Rob Grabowski of the Remake podcast and Le Cordon Bleu College of Culinary Arts in Chicago joined us just in time to mourn the death of democracy ... in more ways than one. True, Trump is our next President, and that's beyond horrifying, but what the fuck is going on at Steve's senior prom? Who's counting THOSE votes and why are we assuming they ha…

Nathan Kaplin could have gone to his very grave without having seen a second of the nonsense that is 'Full House'. But what happened to him? We happened to him, we did, we did. We took Nathan, we sat him down, and we made him watch "Room for One More". Fine, we didn't *make* him watch it. We asked him very nicely and he agreed to do it. But even so…

May Tilden took a short hiatus from writing wedding jingles to help us deconstruct "Grand Gift Auto", in which Uncle Joey desperately tries to assert himself as a person worthy of the family's respect. Can he do it with flashy material goods? Can he do it by appealing to the Tanners' basic human decency? No. And no! You will never be truly loved, J…

Bonus episode? Bonus episode! To celebrate the Halloween season, Jon and Brandon filled their tummies with pizza and are on the floor to tell you all about "Strip or Treat", the 4th season premiere of Freeform's 'Baby Daddy' sitcom. Our experience with 'Baby Daddy' taught us a few things: Straight male friendships are awesome and uncomplicated, you…

Caitlyn Schwimmer is our honorary Rude Dude for the week as we tackle "Subterranean Graduation Blues" from top to bottom. What else do we do? We learn about bar and bat mitzvahs. We tuck in with an icy bowl of Coldies and Cream. We examine Caitlyn’s tomboy / girly girl aesthetic. We diagnose Spacey Lady. We discover a trilogy of Candace Cameron fil…

Jack Felker is our honorary Rude Dude for the week and she knows a few things to be true: Dinosaurs are real. You should never come at her thinking you know more when it comes to Boy Meets World trivia. And the little boy from Brooklyn is probably her son. This week we’re trying our best to move through “Please Don’t Touch the Dinosaur”, in which S…

Collin Dahlgren (otherwise known as Brad Pike's nemesis) joined us for what is unfortunately one of the most depressing episodes of 'Full House' in existence. And not simply because it involves child abuse! "Silence Is Not Golden" also makes room for a disgusting gentleman known as the Funny Buddy when it's not being distracted by atrocious book re…

Brad Pike thinks you have a beautiful singing voice and that you're a ten! He also thinks your daddy-daughter dance was absolutely disgusting. What is wrong with you? And what the fuck is wrong with poor Michelle in "The Heartbreak Kid"? She's fallen in love with her sister's man and no one is setting her straight. Wake up, you dumb baby, HE DOESN'…

James D'Amato of the One Shot podcast is here to assure us that lying is fine. In fact, lying could get you exactly what you want, even if people discover you have been lying. It's great! That's what we're supposed to take away from this week's Full House adventure, right? In "Be True to Your Preschool" our resident toe-headed chicken nugget barf b…

Subi Shah and Cher Vincent are no strangers to the world of deconstructing television: As the hosts of 'Gossip Girls' they know what it means to tackle a show one episode at a time, but they were smart. They picked a show they actually, actively enjoy, whereas we've trapped ourselves in a padded cell with a dopey sitcom we basically can't stand. Th…

Ian Williams may have had his career as a professional ironing board surfer cut tragically short, but that didn't stop him from being our 101st honorary Rude Dude. We'll hear all about Ian's creepy daycare pal, his first date at the age of sixteen, and get a world premiere catch phrase by the time this comes to a close. Unfortunately, we'll also ha…

Mary Catherine Curran rolled over to the studio on her fly as hell Pepsi bike because she's our 100th unique guest and that's how she fucking operates. M-Cat joined us for "A Very Tanner Christmas", in which the two youngest daughters learn an important (offscreen) lesson; Steve alters his life plan for DJ, and Becky complains about the gilded cage…

Lilliana Winkworth showed up for the podcast wearing a fabulous loofah costume and she is not apologizing for it because it is 2016, baby! Join us as we review "Designing Mothers", in which Danny must once again tackle his fear of change and the Rush Hour Renegades fear for the soul of rock and roll. Will a new woman in Danny's life ruin his chance…

Greg Yates braved the insanity that is Chicago's Market Days celebration so he could record our 110th episode and for that we thank him. We thank you, dear Greg, for sitting with us and watching "I'm Not D.J.", in which Topanga and Brace Face (AKA "the Jennifers") pressure poor Stephanie into getting her ears pierced. Is she ready? Should she have …

We learn a lot in this episode: We learn that the childhood fears of honorary Rude Dude, Gabi Moloney, were more than justified when you look at the terrifying evidence. We learn that doing 'shrooms in the forest comes with some basic safety rules you can't afford to ignore. We learn how Emma is a total butt. And we learn that Jon should never be t…