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Therapy: The Movie Approachability: 6/10 ( Absurd, sometimes gory, dark comedy ) Content Warnings: Dissociation; Suicide; Blood/Gore Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David Baldwin Random Horror 9 Patreon YouTube, Twitter, Lett…
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FOR RENT: 2 Bed/2 Bath Apt, Stunning View, 12ft Ceiling, Hellmouth in Basement Approachability: 7/10 ( Standard 1970s Catholic Church vs. Satanic Ghosts story ) Content Warnings: Suicide; Child abuse; Animal death; brief graphic blood/gore; Catholic chauvinism; general creepiness Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Ceci…
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For the last time, y'all, you shoot the zombies in the head. Approachability: 2/10 ( Super violent action/horror ) Content Warnings: Bloody gun violence; Zombie gore; Anti-Asian epithets; Threats of sexual assault Next Week’s Film Patreon Live Show May 20: BARBARIAN (2022) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of …
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How do Leprechaun work? Approachability: 8/10 (Too silly to be scary ) Content Warnings: Spider; Strong, silly violence Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David Baldwin Random Horror 9 Patreon YouTube, Twitter, Letterboxd, & Ins…
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Witch, please Special Guest: Sarah Maria Griffin Approachability: 8/10 ( More teen drama/thriller than horror ) Content Warnings: Suicide, Racist & Sexist Bullying, Domestic Abuse, Date Rape; Snakes/Spiders/Bugs/Etc. Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editi…
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Do what mirror demon says and Fill the Bowl Approachability: 6/10 ( Gory but not alltogether scary supernatural thriller ) Content Warnings: Suicidal ideation; Body mutilation; Graphic violence; Depression Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant S…
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Be the Aunt Martha you wish to see in the world. Special Guest: Anthony Hudson Approachability: 4/10 ( 80s-style camp killer camp classic ) Content Warnings: Harmful Transphobic Tropes; Child death; Child Sexual Assault; Blood/Gore; Vomit Read BJ Colangelo's essay "Going Back To SLEEPAWAY CAMP: Revisiting The Problematic Classic" Next Week’s Film P…
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Ask your doctor which Demon of the Prairie is right for you. Approachability: 8/10 ( Arthouse prairie thriller) Content Warnings: Infant death; animal death; suicide; blood Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David Baldwin Random…
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Approachability: 9/10 ( Spooky, smart, sometimes surreal pre-code thriller ) Content Warnings: General spookiness Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David Baldwin Random Horror 9 Patreon Twitter, Letterboxd, & Instagram: @Random…
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They probably should have gone to Barcelona. Approachability: 1/10 ( Super smart film, but it still goes hard ) Content Warnings: Graphic torture/mutilation; Overt misogyny/racism/homophobia Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: Da…
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The Oscar for best use of "star wipe" goes to… Approachability: 9/10 ( It's a PG comic book movie, not a horror. ) Content Warnings: Mild blood; Monster mutations; snake Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David Baldwin Random Ho…
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Imagine Johnny Depp as a shitty boyfriend Approachability: 3/10 ( Stylish & scary with a bonus blood geyser ) Content Warnings: Stalking/Slasher deaths; Blood/Gore; Suicide Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David Baldwin Random…
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Gimme that old time religion. Approachability: 8/10 ( Prestige tv series that is mostly horror adjacent ) Content Warnings: Infant death; Sexual Assault; Animal harm/death; Child sexual assault; Suicide Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stew…
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God's judgment is clear, but what about OSHA's? Special Guest: Chris Brown (Check out the trailer for Chris' new film Darkest of Lies) Approachability: 9/10 ( Documentary about fundamentalist Christian haunted house ) Content Warnings: Flippant/campy depictions of: rape, domestic violence, suicide; Homophobia; Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirt…
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It was CAPITALISM that killed the beast. Approachability: 7/10 (Legitimate thriller, for a 90-year-old film) Content Warnings: Old-timey misogyny; super racist caricatures; monster attacks; animal death Next Week’s Film Patreon Live Stream Feb 19: The Happiness of the Katakuris (2002) patreon.com/randomhorror9 RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey…
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I'm sorry, Mr. Burton, but Hollywood has a 4-montage limit. Approachability: 9/10 (More of a lightly-dark comedy about vampires than a horror movie) Content Warnings: Suicide; Mental institution abuse Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewar…
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Cook like an Egyptian... Approachability: 8/10 (Gory/bloody but in the most campy way possible) Content Warnings: Stalker/Killer; silly-looking blood Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David Baldwin Random Horror 9 Patreon Twitt…
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Your standard Lovecraftian/Modern Dance/Cold War/Divorce Drama Approachability: 3/10 (Brilliant, but a tough watch for the squeamish) Content Warnings: Emotional abuse/manipulation; Physical domestic violence; Graphic miscarriage; Bodily possession; Child death; Slimy tentacle beast; Suicide; Dog death; Blood/gore Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-S…
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"Hail to the king, baby" Special Guest: Alex Steed Approachability: 9/10 (Fantasy action comedy w/vague horror elements) Content Warnings: Cartoonish blood, demons Jan 21 Patreon Live Stream: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night …
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We have a feeling that this is not at all the final chapter. Special Guest: Dan McCoy https://whiskeyflicks.com/ Approachability: 3/10 (Predictable, yet creative kills; But that plot, eek.) Content Warnings: Graphic death sequences; Jump scares Jan 21st Patreon Live Stream: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts…
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If by "chopping," you mean "lasers to the face," then yes, this title works. Approachability: 5/10 (Boobs, blood, and beer. It's another 80s horror flick) Content Warnings: Blood/gore; Jump scares; spiders; snakes Jan 21st Patreon Live Stream: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) Friday the 13th Bonus Episode Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts!…
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Bands today just don't hail satan quite like they used to. Special Guest Brie Williams https://twitter.com/briezillionaire Approachability: 7/10 (Silly and cheap with a bitchin’ 80s hair metal soundtrack) Content Warnings: Murder; Mild blood; Monsters Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our w…
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PSA: Don't surprise people with pets as Christmas gifts Approachability: 7/10 (Silly but still scary ) Content Warnings: Jump scares; Blood/gore (mostly Gremlin deaths) Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David Baldwin Random Hor…
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That's not a Christmas movie… THIS is a Christmas movie. Approachability: 8/10 (Beautifully-shot slow-burn drama) Content Warnings: Non-simulated animal death; Suicide; Men Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David Baldwin Random…
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The weirdest episode of LOVE IT OR LIST IT ever Special Guest: Sarah Maria Griffin Approachability: 1/10 (Holiday Inn Express - New Orleans-style) Content Warnings: Graphic (and creative) Gore; Spiders Patreon Live Stream Sun Dec 18 @ 3pm ET: The Descent (2006) Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find mor…
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Dr. Carl Hill was a Head of his time. Approachability: 2/10 (Your standard Lovecraftian body-horror gross-out comedy) Content Warnings: Body Horror/Gore; Animal death; Sexual Assault Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David Bald…
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A tour-de-force by America's Finest Karen Approachability: 6/10 (Campy and low-rent and mostly fun) Content Warnings: Drugging/Sexual Assault; Racist imagery; Jump scares Next Week’s Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David Baldwin Random H…
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Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead. Approachability: 1/10 (Super gory zombie apocalypse / Shakespearean tragedy ) Content Warnings: Animal death; Graphic gore; Graphic child/infant death. Up Next: Trilogy of Terror (1975) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of their work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewar…
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New phone. Who's this? Approachability: 5/10 (Tense (but not overly gory or jumpy) thriller about child abduction.) Content Warnings: Parental child abuse, Child abduction/imprisonment, Violent bullying, Bloody murder Up Next: Blood Quantum (2019) Nov 19 Live Stream: Over the Garden Wall (2014) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil …
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Hey Random Horror 9 listeners, so I, Jeffrey Cranor, and Joseph Fink have a brand new fiction podcast. It's the first we've made together since Welcome to Night Vale. It's called UNLICENSED, and here is episode 1: "The Detective of Citrus Avenue." All episodes of Season 1 are available right now at audible.com/unlicensed. So if you sign up for thei…
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Who's a good boy? Is it you? It IS you! Approachability: 3/10 (It’s a war movie but with werewolves.) Content Warnings: Graphic Blood/Gore; Animal Death; Jump scares Up Next: The Black Phone (2021) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of their work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David Bald…
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A post-WWII German village in Chile? That seems perfectly fine, and not sinister at all. Approachability: 9/10 (Beautiful, stunning arthouse creepfest) Content Warnings: Disturbing abstract visuals; Cultish emotional abuse; Based loosely on true story of a village run by a child-sexual-predator and Nazi soldier. Up Next: Dog Soldiers (2002) RandomH…
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Please. Call me Sam. Mister Hain was my father. Approachability: 4/10 (Not a lot of scares. But plenty of weird/gory practical effects. ) Content Warnings: Gory/creative deaths, Child death Up Next: The Wolf House (2018) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of their work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant S…
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Leave the horse. Take the clown truck. Special Guests: Jonny & Aileen of ¡Uy Que Horror! Approachability: 9/10 (Super campy B-movie) Content Warnings: Gross creatures; Animal death; Suicide; Loud scream-scares; Sexual assault Up Next: The Wolf House (2018) Oct 31 Bonus Ep: Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) LiveStream Oct 29: Pulse (2001) Ra…
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"Where's it at, Monistat?" Approachability: 6/10 (More satirical than scary) Content Warnings: Blood/Gore, Violent Misogyny Up Next: The Day of the Triffids (1962) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of their work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David Baldwin Random Horror 9 Patreon Twitte…
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How hard is it to hide from a tractor-trailer? Approachability: 5/10 (TROMA movie on a cocaine budget) Content Warnings: Animal death; Child Death; Tight Spaces; Blood/Gore; Jump scares Up Next: Jennifer's Body (2009) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of their work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stew…
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What's more realistic? The cartoon snake or Jon Voight's Paraguay accent? Special Guest: Jen Brown https://brownrecluseproductions.com/ Approachability: 8/10 (Super goofy CGI 90s B-movie) Content Warnings: Animal harm; CGI Blood/Gore; Jump scares; Suicide Up Next: Maximum Overdrive (1986) https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/maximum-overdrive-stephen…
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"Mommy, where do kittens come from?" Approachability: 4/10 (Weird, tense and super gross revenge tale) Content Warnings: Sexual Harrassment/Violence; Body horror; Eating disgusting things; Graphic animal death; Jump scares; Creepy monsters/figures. Up Next: Anaconda (1997) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of …
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Let's give Heather some love. Special Guests: Pablo Escobar & Paul Jordan of the Scared Gay! podcast Approachability: 6/10 (Very tense, but mostly bloodless, found footage classic) Content Warnings: Lost in the woods; Brief, explicit gore; Shaky cam Up Next: Brand New Cherry Flavor (2021) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwi…
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Don't sleep and drive. Approachability: 8/10 (Bollywood thriller w/low budget SFX but high budget musical numbers) Content Warnings: Jump scares/sudden loud noises; Gaslighting; Domestic violence; Suicide Up Next: The Blair Witch Project (1999) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of their work on Welcome to Nigh…
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Wait… what? Special Guest: Sarah Maria Griffin https://twitter.com/griffski Approachability: 8/10 (More fever dream than horror film) Content Warnings: Jump scares, Blood/gore, Sexual assault, Racism, Hitting a child, Abortion Up Next: Raaz (2002) Patreon Live Stream (Sept 11): Eyes Without a Face (1960) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Crano…
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They for real filmed a zombie fighting a shark. Approachability: 2/10 (Super gory and campy zombie-fest) Content Warnings: Extreme blood/gore; Domestic abuse; Racist voodoo tropes Up Next: The Visitor (1979) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of their work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: …
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Special Guest: Glen Cullen https://flinchingwithdelight.com/ Approachability: 8/10 (Comedy meta-horror, not that scary, but very heart-felt) Content Warnings: Blood, jump scares, parental death Up Next: Zombie (1979) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of their work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewa…
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Not for the faint (or even the strong) of heart. Approachability: 1/10 (Intense and explicit. Could be very triggering re: sexual assault & child abuse) Content Warnings: Graphic sex; Graphic sexual assault; graphic child sexual abuse; graphic genital mutilation Up Next: The Final Girls (2015) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil B…
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Never look a tonguehorse in the mouth. Special Guest: Dan McCoy https://whiskeyflicks.com/ Approachability: 5/10 (Gory but also 80s-style campy) Content Warnings: Sexual assault; suggestion of incestuous relationship; blood/gore Up Next: In the Realm of the Senses (1976) Live Stream Aug 13: Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006) RandomHo…
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You're *such* a gemini. Approachability: 6/10 (Stilted, but campy/fun splatter flick) Content Warnings: Animal death, child death, jump scares, blood/gore Up Next: Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of their work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David B…
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Busby Berkeley in the Amazon Approachability: 10/10 (G-Rated monster picture) Content Warnings: it's as approachable as anything Up Next: Madhouse (1981) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of their work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant Stewart Logo: David Baldwin Random Horror 9 Patreon Twitter & Instag…
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Always read the contract. Approachability: 4/10 (Tightly-wound imprisonment thriller.) Content Warnings: sexual assault. stalking, gaslighting, suicidal ideation, imprisonment Up Next: Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts! Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of their work on Welcome to Night Vale) Editing: Grant…
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A strong case for eyebrow-threading and Invisalign Special Guest: Symphony Sanders Approachability: 9/10 (Both of ‘em: classy and spooky.) Content Warnings: Spookiness, Blood-drinking, Anti-semitic tropes (1922) Up Next: Unsane (2019) Patreon Livestream (July 16): House on Haunted Hill (1959) RandomHorror9 T-Shirts Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Bal…
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