show episodes
 
This podcast is for LDS women with a spouse addicted to pornography. I am Jolene Winn and I am an active member of the LDS faith, a certified Life Coach through The Life Coach School, and the wife of a wonderful man who was once addicted to pornography. I am now on a mission to go find other women who are in the same situation. Women who are struggling to address emotions and thoughts they've never had to face. Women who want to understand their situation, who want to love their husband like ...
 
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show series
 
Did you know you're not your body or your thoughts? I know. It seems a little weird. But you are actually your soul. And just as your body and your mind need nourishment and attention, your soul does too. In fact, it requires even more of it. And yet we tend to ignore it. Today I'm going to discuss why it's important to take care of your soul, what…
 
Do you ever think that you never would've chosen this? That, had you known about his pornography problem before you got married that you never would've said yes? If you have ever had those kinds of thoughts before, you are not alone. This is super common and something I want to address today! If you want to coach with me one on one, come join me in…
 
Do you find yourself worrying that something that happened before will happen again? Today I'm going to talk about why this happens, and why it's important not to do it anymore! Let's go! Come join me in Nashville! If you are ready to apply what you are learning on the podcast and want one on one help doing it, I want to invite you to come to my fi…
 
Today my book launches! It is called "The Not-Enough Wife-Why We Look Outside Ourselves And How To Stop". And it's really good. Today I am going to talk about what inspired me to write the book, a little bit of the journey I had in writing it, and what each chapter is about. I would love your support by heading to Amazon and purchasing it and writi…
 
Do you worry about your husband relapsing if he's alone? Yeah. Most of us have. This one is for you. I am going to break down why our brain is so worried about this, why it's not helpful, and how to work through it when it happens to you. Don't forget to sign up for FREE COACHING! Come join me this week for a week of free coaching calls! Register h…
 
We try to manage other people's emotions a lot. And it sounds really nice. Like, "I just don't want to add to his stress" or "I don't want to make her feel anxious". Today I'm talking about why this doesn't work, why we want to do it, and why it's important to stop. Don't forget to register for Coach Week! It's a week of free coaching with me and i…
 
Think about that thing you want to do but haven't done yet. That's what we are talking about today. Buckle up, ladies, this is a tough love episode about why you don't have the life you want or why you aren't doing the things you want to do-spoiler alert-It's not the reasons you think! Today I am diving into both making decisions and taking action,…
 
I know many of us feel this way. We want to open up to someone about our husband's pornography use but it's not our secret to tell, right? Well, maybe not. Today I'm going to address this concern and offer some thoughts that I hope will help you decide to open up and do so in a way that works for both you and your spouse. Ladies, come join me for C…
 
Today I am giving ya'll a sneak peek of my book that is coming out September 6! The book is titled The Not Enough Wife (Why We Look Outside Ourselves And How To Stop). This book is for any woman who has felt like she isn't enough. Not skinny enough, sexy enough, smart enough, gracrious enough...the list goes on and on. In this book, I am going to t…
 
Most of us try to avoid confrontation. Our brains don't like it because of the emotion it brings up. But, sometimes, confrontation is exactly what we need. Otherwise, we stay in conflict. Today I am going to explain what this looks like when we are in conflict with another person as well as when we have internal conflict, why it's important to conf…
 
Learning how to think of your spouse with compassion is one of the greatest tools that you can learn to help you start improving your communication and the way you think about him and his pornography use. Today I am going to talk about why it's so important, a common mistake that many make when starting to transition to compassion, the biggest ment…
 
A very special bonus episode with all of the details you need about the upcoming retreat I am hosting in Nashville TN in October! If you are thinking about joining, listen in! And then sign up right away because there are only 15 spots total and they are going to sell out! I can't wait to see you there! Click here for full event details and to sign…
 
Do you ever feel emotionally depleted? Like you have nothing left in your emotional reserves? How does that happen? How do we prevent it from happening? What do we do when it happens? That is what this episode is all about. I'm going to explain what your emotional energy baseline is, how to raise it, and why it's so important to be aware of. Join m…
 
Today I am going to bring together what we talked about last week and discuss what that looks like in relationships. How do we emotionally invest in a relationship when the other person seems to not be doing any work on their end? I'm going over the biggest lie that our brain believes about this and sharing why it's so important to recognize. Don't…
 
There are two kinds of emotional investment-one that will produce the results that you want (a better marriage, a goal weight, a dream job) and one that won't. Today I am breaking down what emotional investment is, the two main types and the patterns they create, and why it's so important in order to achieve those goals you want.…
 
So many of us struggle with making decisions. And it's all because of what we are thinking. Today I am breaking down how to make decisions in 4 simple steps and what our brain often does in those steps to make making decisions so difficult! Whether it's deciding what to wear or where to send your kids to school or even to stay married, this is a si…
 
What do we do when we want two seemingly opposite things? Especially when we can't decide which one is "better"? How do we choose? How do we look at that? Today I am going to dive into what this looks like, how our brain likes to make decisions and what to do when you want to opposite things. (If you are struggling with trust, this is for you!) Com…
 
If your husband is struggling with depression (as so often goes hand in hand with addictive behavior), it can be super tough to know what to do. Do you recommend therapy? Is it ok to talk to him about it? Am I supposed to leave him alone? Our desire to help and our desire to not make anything worse often lead to an internal conflict that leaves us …
 
Sometimes when we go through something traumatic, we forget to allow ourselves NOT to think about it. In fact, our brain thinks it is super important for us to constantly have it on our minds. But this often leads to anxiety and hyper-focus that creates emotional overwhelm and exhaustion. Today I'm going to talk about why this happens and why it's …
 
The thoughts we think about ourselves, our relationships, our fears and emotions...all of those create our story. And the story we tell ourself about our life creates our security blanket. It makes us feel warm and safe. But it also prevents us from going forward. Today I'm going to dive into this with specific examples and explain why becoming awa…
 
Let's Celebrate! This is the podcast's 100th weekly episode and I am so excited about it! Today I am going to share with you how I started and what that looked like to where we are now and the lessons I've learned along the way. I am so excited for everything that is in store and I am so grateful to all of YOU for making this happen!…
 
You know when you reach your breaking point? And you think, "How did I get here?" Today I am going to give you the secret to preventing this from happening-no matter the circumstance. I'm going to dive into what emotional overwhelm is, the secret to preventing it, and tell you why this is so important in your life! If you want help applying what I …
 
Have you ever thought, "Life's not fair"? Or "It's not fair that he has this pornography addiction and I'm the one dealing with the emotional fallout of it"? Most of you have. And that's ok. But I want to show you today how that is not a useful way of thinking...and it's using the word "fair" incorrectly. This is a tough love episode today ladies t…
 
What is forgiveness? What does it look like? How do we do it? Why don't we do it? What prevents us from forgiving? Today I am going to dive into this and let you know exactly how to do it and what to do! This is not one to skip! Follow me on IG @jolenewinncoaching Click here to join my lifetime coaching program before the price goes up on April 1! …
 
Today Rob joined me on the podcast to talk about the men's group that is beginning on April 14! In this episode we go over why we are starting it and what makes this program so incredible for those who are struggling with a pornography addiction. If you are ready to uncover the source of your pornography addiction and eliminate it for good, simply …
 
Did you know that healing can happen without feeling like you're running on a hamster wheel? That it can even be done with ease? I'm not saying it'll be EASY, but there are things you can do that will certainly make your healing journey filled with more EASE and less mental exhaustion. Today I am going through a few that you can immediately start i…
 
I LOVE hearing other couples who are working through pornography addiction and I am so excited to bring you Chandler and Jade's story! Chandler is the mastermind and owner of an accountability app for porn addicts called RELAY and he and his wife were gracious enough to come on the podcast and share their story. Give this young couple a listen beca…
 
Do you know the difference between being betrayed and feeling betrayed? Today we are going to talk about it and go into why it is so crucial to know the difference! If you are ready to take what you are learning on the podcast and apply it so that you finally move forward, I want to invite you to come join my coaching program. This is where you tak…
 
I had the privilege of talking with Kristen Jenson, the author of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures and the owner of Defend Young Minds. She and I discussed how to talk to kids about pornography, how she got started in her business, how she wrote these books, and all the resources she has for you as parents! I am so grateful to her for the work she does …
 
Happy Valentine's Day!! Let's talk about love languages! SO many women are convinced that they give and receieve love in a certain way...and I'm going to talk about that today. Join me as I talk about what love languages are, how they can often be misused and why it's so important to be aware of your brain and how it thinks about love languages. Jo…
 
Have you noticed that sometimes you tend to blame someone else for how you are feeling? "I'm upset because he...", "I'm frustrated when you...". This is called using an emotional scapegoat. Join me today as I dive into what this means, why it's so important to recognize and how to change it! I'm launching a new class inside my coaching program on F…
 
Today I have my favorite guest (My husband Rob) joining me and going through some of the most frequently asked questions we get about his addiction and his recovery. He talks about what helped him the most, how he sees life differently now, and what he did to completely recover. Plus, there are a few great announcements you won't want to miss!…
 
Do you feel like you are just going through the motions? Like you are meant to have a life that is more than what you have but you don't know how to get it? I have the answer for you today! Join me as I talk about the way to get the life that you want and HOW to create it. It's not a secret. It just takes a little focus and some intentionality. It'…
 
Connecting with your spouse when he's addicted to pornography and you wish he weren't isn't easy. And learning how to communicate in that framework isn't easy. That is why I am so excited to bring you this conversation I had with Sam Tielemans! Sam is a licensed marriage and family therapist and works specifically with couples who are working to co…
 
We tend to not deal with our emotions. But the problem with this is that then we store them. And we compartmentalize them, thinking that if they look neat and tidy, then we will deal with them later (Or maybe we won't have to). But, eventually, if you don't deal with your emotions, you run out of storage. Just like your email account, you have a ce…
 
Want to know the secret to actually accomplishing all of your resolutions for 2022? Here it is: you've been doing it all backwards so far. Today I am going to explain a concept to you called Be Do Have. And it is going to completely change how you think about the way you approach your life and your goals. We usually approach life with the attitude …
 
Where does God fit in to all of this? To me, it's like asking where Jesus fits into Christmas. The answer is the same: He is the reason for all of it. Join me today as I discuss how God fits in and how the miracles we want may not be the miracles we are getting...and expecting certain miracles might make us miss the ones we have. Merry Christmas, y…
 
Just like an addict follows a physical addiction cycle, as the porn addict's wife, we often follow an emotional addiction cycle right along with it. If you feel like you are constantly "triggered" by his addiction and don't know how to get out of it, this is for you. In this episode I break down the cycle AND how to break it! Join me for my FREE 3 …
 
I am so thrilled to bring you this interview I did with Brock Bevell! He is a retired police officer who struggled with an opioid addiction and a pornography addiction and he now helps other men conquer their own addictions! In this episode, he and I sit down and he gives an inside look at pornography addiction from the point of view of the addict …
 
I often hear, "I'm broken". And, once upon a time, I felt that way too. But it's not true. Today I am going to show you why it's so important to change that thought and offer you a new one-one that has been extremely powerful for me. This thought helped me open up the future so that I could see that there was possibility and hope even during my hus…
 
Want to know the key to actually creating the life you want instead of reacting to it? Step 1: Create Space. Today I am going to tell you exactly what this means, why it's so important, the beliefs you need to adopt to make it happen AND how to actually create those needed beliefs! This is not life coaching 101. This is the next level. This is taki…
 
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